#114 - Helping Women Make Better Retirement Decisions After Life Changes

Eric Blake: They don't teach you how to deal with beneficiary designations. They don't teach you about Social Security. They don't teach you about survivor benefits. Nobody teaches this stuff. Having an advisor is great. Having the right financial advisor is better.

Welcome to another episode of the Simply Retirement Podcast, where we want to educate and empower women to live your retirement on your terms. I'm your host, Eric Blake, practicing retirement planner for over 25 years, founder of Blake Wealth Management, and I would not be the man I am today without the women in my life.

Joining me, as always, is Wendy McConnell. Wendy, how are you?

Wendy McConnell: I'm great. How are you?

Eric Blake: I am good. I am good. So today's episode, I was trying to figure out what I wanted to call this, and I kind of settled on, "Why All Financial Advisors Are Not the Same." But I'm going to do my best not to throw anybody under the bus.

Wendy McConnell: You could have just said, "Why financial advisors can't go on vacation."

Eric Blake: Right. Well, yeah, that's a whole other topic. But before we get to that, I wanted to ask you a question. What was the first thing you thought when you found out that our practice, and even the podcast, as you've been my producer now for almost three years, was primarily focused on retirement planning for women?

Wendy McConnell: Yay! Because that's so rare. So rare.

Eric Blake: Well, I'm glad you said that. It's interesting because I wanted to share a couple of conversations Dawn and I had. We just got back from our 30th anniversary trip to Europe, and it was amazing. These conversations reminded me why retirement planning is about so much more than just investments.

Unfortunately, we see some of the biggest financial decisions people make happen during really difficult life transitions. One conversation, in particular, stressed the importance of not only the decisions many women have to make after losing a husband, but also getting effective support and guidance from the professionals around them.

It was our 30th anniversary. We celebrated on June 8, just a few weeks before we recorded this episode.

Wendy McConnell: Congratulations.

Eric Blake: Thank you so much. Thirty years. I don't even know how I'm old enough to have a 30-year marriage.

Wendy McConnell: It's crazy.

Eric Blake: We were on a riverboat cruise from Budapest to Amsterdam.

Wendy McConnell: Wow.

Eric Blake: One of the cool things about a riverboat cruise is there are only about 180 passengers, so you get to know people. You're sitting with different people at meals, going on excursions together, and eventually someone asks, "So, what do you do?"

After almost 30 years as a financial advisor, I've learned that if I simply say, "I'm a financial advisor," people usually assume I'm about to sell them something.

Wendy McConnell: I would think they'd ask you for free advice.

Eric Blake: No. Most people think you're going to sell them an annuity or some other product, so they avoid the conversation.

What I've settled on saying is, "My wife and I run a retirement planning firm primarily focused on women." People immediately become curious. They often ask, "You can do that?"

One couple from San Antonio shared how meaningful they thought that focus was. The wife had gone through a difficult divorce and talked about all the financial challenges she experienced. She appreciated knowing there were advisors who intentionally work with women because so many families have experienced divorce or widowhood.

Later we met two longtime college friends traveling together. One had recently divorced, and we talked briefly about the 10-year rule for divorced spouse Social Security benefits. The other had been widowed just over a year earlier. She had recently turned 60, and you could still see the grief in her expressions. She would be laughing one moment, then suddenly become quiet when something reminded her of her husband.

One morning we happened to be up early together. Dawn had wandered off talking with other people, and she shared something that really stayed with me. She said, "I want to be the fun one again. I used to be the fun one."

Wendy McConnell: Aw.

Eric Blake: You could tell she was still processing everything. Eventually our conversation turned to finances. She told me she had started her survivor benefit at age 60 because her husband's benefit was much larger than her own.

Immediately my mind went to one question. Did she have a conversation with someone before making that decision? In many situations, when someone qualifies for both their own retirement benefit and a survivor benefit, delaying the larger benefit can significantly increase lifetime income.

Wendy McConnell: Okay.

Eric Blake: I don't know all of her details, and I certainly wasn't giving personal advice. But I wondered whether she knew she had options, or whether she simply thought, "I'm 60. I'm eligible. I'll start now."

My concern was whether she may have cost herself thousands of dollars in lifetime Social Security benefits.

Wendy McConnell: Did she?

Eric Blake: Very possibly. By claiming survivor benefits at age 60, those benefits are permanently reduced compared to waiting until full retirement age. We don't know whether retiring at 60 required her to begin benefits immediately, but based on what she shared, I wasn't convinced that was necessarily the case.

She also mentioned she had a financial advisor who had driven to meet with her several times after her husband passed away. That's wonderful. But it also made me wonder whether anyone had asked, "Let's slow down before making these decisions. Let's evaluate your Social Security options first."

Wendy McConnell: Why wouldn't an advisor ask those questions?

Eric Blake: I don't necessarily think it means they're not good at their job. You can't specialize in everything. Working with someone in their 30s is very different from helping someone navigate retirement after losing a spouse.

My guess, based on nearly 30 years of experience, is either she didn't know she could ask those questions, or her advisor wasn't experienced enough with Social Security planning to recognize how important those decisions were.

Wendy McConnell: So maybe retirement planning just wasn't their specialty.

Eric Blake: Exactly. Many advisors simply don't have much experience with Social Security. Yet for most women, it's the single largest source of guaranteed lifetime income.

Wendy McConnell: Wow.

Eric Blake: She also shared that her husband had five different 401(k) accounts when he passed away. She had to work through beneficiary paperwork with each employer, figure everything out, and eventually consolidate those accounts.

Then, after retiring herself, she rolled over her own retirement account. The very next day, the market dropped by roughly the same amount she had just rolled over. It was around $60,000 or $70,000.

Wendy McConnell: What?

Eric Blake: That also suggested she likely had substantial retirement assets, which again made me wonder whether retiring at 60 required starting Social Security immediately, or whether she could have delayed and made a more informed decision.

Wendy McConnell: Did you give her your card?

Eric Blake: That's always a delicate balance. She genuinely felt she had a good relationship with her advisor, and there were family connections involved. I wasn't there to replace that relationship.

But what it reinforced for me was this idea that not all financial advisors are the same. Either she didn't know she should ask about Social Security, or her advisor never brought it up. Neither possibility is ideal.

She also told me she hadn't really started spending the assets she inherited because she was worried about taxes. Then she mentioned that her financial advisor and tax professional don't really communicate with each other.

I did tell her that needed to change. If your advisor and tax professional aren't communicating, how can you make informed retirement income decisions?

Wendy McConnell: Right.

Eric Blake: The less you pay in unnecessary taxes, the more money you either get to enjoy yourself or pass on to the people you care about. That's why tax planning is such an important part of retirement planning.

We proactively communicate with our clients' tax professionals because retirement planning isn't just about investments. If tax planning is missing, that's a significant gap.

Wendy McConnell: Yeah.

Eric Blake: Watching someone make major financial decisions while still grieving reminded me how challenging that period of life really is. You're making decisions about Social Security, retirement income, taxes, investments, and your future while also dealing with the loss of someone you love.

I simply want to encourage people to ask for guidance from the right people. I'm not expecting anyone to know all the answers. I just hope they know which questions to ask.

Everything fits together. Social Security, taxes, retirement income, market volatility, estate planning, they all become pieces of one retirement puzzle.

When people ask me what I do, I tell them we run a retirement planning firm focused on women. Then I often explain that many women lose the person they used to bounce financial decisions off of. Suddenly there's no one to ask, "What do you think about this?"

We can never replace a spouse, but we can be someone you know you can call when you have an important financial question.

Wendy McConnell: Yeah.

Eric Blake: Having an advisor is great. Having the right financial advisor is better.

Before we wrap up, I want to leave you with a few resources. If today's conversation resonated with you, go back and listen to Episode 94, where we covered seven questions every woman should ask before hiring a financial advisor.

We also recorded Episode 50 about the Great Wealth Transfer and what it means for women, because more women are inheriting significant assets and becoming responsible for important financial decisions.

Finally, we created our three-part series, Navigating Life After Loss, covering what decisions you may face during the first week, first month, and first year after losing a spouse.

I hope today's story helps illustrate some of the real-life challenges women face and reminds you that resources are available. Whether that's another advisor, a second opinion, or simply educational resources, don't hesitate to ask for help.

Wendy McConnell: You do a very good job providing those resources, Eric.

Eric Blake: I appreciate that very much. As we wrap up, thank you again, Wendy, for joining me. Hopefully today's conversation becomes another resource for women navigating these important decisions.

If you have questions, please reach out. There is absolutely no obligation. There are wonderful organizations like Savvy Ladies and many other resources available to help educate women and help you make better financial decisions. We simply want to be one of those resources.

As always, thank you for tuning in. Please be sure to follow the show so you can stay up to date on future episodes. Until next time, please remember, retirement is not the end of the road. It's the start of a new journey.

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