#127 - What Women Are Telling Us About Retirement: Their Goals and What Keeps Them Up at Night

Eric Blake: Welcome to another episode of the Simply Retirement Podcast. I am your host, Eric Blake. Joining me once again is Wendy McConnell. Wendy, how are you?

Wendy McConnell: I forgot, and I turned myself off. But I turned back on now.

Eric Blake: So I did my first solo a couple of weeks ago, and I will tell you right up front, my mom said the ones with you involved are better. So just so you know, that should make you feel very good, right?

Wendy McConnell: Tell your mom thank you. She is a smart, intuitive woman.

Eric Blake: The one person who listens to my episodes said that.

Wendy McConnell: That is not true.

Eric Blake: Isn't that the joke, your mom and your...

Wendy McConnell: Yes, and your spouse. Maybe your siblings are...

Eric Blake: I don't have any, so just me. Oh, so, you know.

Wendy McConnell: Well then, yeah, just two.

Eric Blake: I would be out of luck if that were, if I was relying on that one. Anyway, so I'm really excited about this episode. The last two episodes we did was a series, two separate episodes with Kelly Ottman.

Wendy McConnell: Yeah.

Eric Blake: And she shared her research on executives and the transition from their careers into retirement, including questions about identity and purpose, relationships, what comes next. And today I wanted to continue to explore this topic about how are women thinking about retirement, but just from a different perspective, and this perspective comes from our Facebook group. So right about the time I started the podcast, I started the Simply Retirement community. It's a Facebook group I created primarily for women who are approaching retirement, maybe already retired, or maybe they're trying to, you know, make sense of all these different moving pieces as they've, after a major life change. And we're actually approaching almost 600 members now. Wow. So pretty decent number, right?

Wendy McConnell: Yeah, impressive.

Eric Blake: And it was really about giving women a place to feel comfortable asking questions. So I share episodes, I'll share different posts, information I come across that I think might be helpful, and even, we're even looking to start doing maybe some more live events within the group, things like that. But when somebody requests to join, I ask two questions, and they're not requirements by any means to join the group. But the questions I ask are, "What is your biggest retirement goal or bucket list item?" And then we also ask, "What is your biggest retirement worry, or what keeps you up at night?" And for me, those questions, they're more than just my membership form, right? But they give me a chance to kind of get an idea or gauge what's going on, what are people thinking, what are women thinking when they're joining this group? Why might they be joining the group, of course.

But it also shows that I think that it's important that when women are joining the group that they don't feel like it's just them. They're not the only ones that have these worries or these concerns, right? And it may seem obvious, but it still can be somewhat overwhelming to think, "Well, I'm facing this big challenge. Who else out there might be thinking or worried about this same thing?"

Wendy McConnell: Okay.

Eric Blake: And so what I did, I recently reviewed these responses, and it was about 100 responses that I've been able to gather.

Wendy McConnell: Wow.

Eric Blake: And it was just kind of getting an idea of what's going on, what are women thinking when they're joining the group, and it's not anything formal. Again, these are just responses to the questions if women choose to do so. And some women gave maybe a word or two, just said retirement or fun or something simple, right? But some did get a little bit more detailed, gave a little bit more context about what their challenges really are. And I think that's always an advantage for me, again, to gauge what, you know, maybe what should I be doing some episodes on. Should I pick a topic based on these responses? But I thought just as a starting point, let's just get this out there and share what some of these top goals, concerns, worries, what are they? What are women thinking about, at least the women that have joined our group?

Wendy McConnell: What are women thinking about?

Eric Blake: I don't know, actually.

Wendy McConnell: Yes, you do.

Eric Blake: So what I would love for you to do is chime in when you have any thoughts or questions or any insight you share, because, you know, we've talked about, you are in a position of trying to navigate some of these decisions as well. So I'd love to get your feedback, and I would even like to start, if you had to guess, what do you think is the number one retirement goal?

Wendy McConnell: Travel.

Eric Blake: Almost. That's number two. And this is where I think when people think about retirement, a lot of times it jumps to the worries about do I have enough? So that was actually the biggest goal was having enough money to retire comfortably and pay the bills, right? Which is still a goal, but there's also kind of that underlying factor of do I have enough? Am I going to be okay?

Wendy McConnell: Everybody thinks that. You, you... but yet not be so, you know, frugal that you don't enjoy your retirement.

Eric Blake: Exactly. And so when women describe this, it's very practical. They said, you know, "I want to live in comfort. I want to have enough money to pay the bills, live comfortably within my means, not feel stressed over bills." That was also, that was an interesting one that I came across several times was the stress that comes with not having enough or worried about do I have enough or not. And one woman put it pretty simply, "Not to be broke."

Wendy McConnell: Yeah.

Eric Blake: I was... you can't get any more cut and dry than that, right?

Wendy McConnell: Yeah. That, I mean, that's a goal.

Eric Blake: Exactly. That's right. But a lot of times they describe, you know, security, being able to pay your regular expenses, handle unexpected costs without feeling like everything could just fall apart, right? And enough is not the same number for everyone, of course. And before asking how much should I have saved, I think one of the things I would encourage our audience, and also the members of the group, is thinking about what do I need my money to allow me to do? And as we go through these, that's one of the things I want to share is some additional insight or maybe a little bit better questions you might think about to help address some of these goals and concerns.

Wendy McConnell: Okay.

Eric Blake: Goal number two was exactly what you said, which is traveling. And traveling appeared multiple times, but most women didn't describe it as these luxurious trips every month. It was more about travel some or traveling a bit, modest travel.

Wendy McConnell: Okay.

Eric Blake: Maybe go on a cruise, maybe make it to Hawaii, drive across the country. There was, again, some very interesting responses as far as how people define travel. It wasn't just as simple as travel. For some it was, but it was interesting to kind of see, to gauge what the actual level of detail they wanted to share. And of course, a lot of times it was around family and being able to travel to go see family, grandchildren, right?

And I think that's one of the things that seemed... a lot of times travel represents some level of freedom, just to have the time to do some of the things you haven't had the time to do in the past, maybe while you're working or whatever your background may have been, maybe not having the time to do some of these types of things. And I think that's where it obviously comes back to the idea of can I afford to travel, right? So I think that's a pretty simple way of putting it. But I think also thinking about what kind of travel matters to me. And a lot of these, when I'm talking about better ways to think about the questions or ways you can actually build your plan, your retirement plan around it, is maybe putting a little more context and more identifying really what is the specific goal.

Because it goes beyond just traveling, right? It's what kind of travel, what's important to me about travel? Why is traveling important to me? What is it that I want to do? What is it that I want to see? And ultimately at some point, unfortunately, it always is going to come back to how much is that going to cost me. Right.

Wendy McConnell: Right? Yeah.

Eric Blake: But have the background around why is this important to me in the first place, and then build your plan around that because I think it can kind of get overwhelming if you do it the other way around. If you think about, "God, it's so expensive to travel."

Wendy McConnell: Right.

Eric Blake: Right?

Wendy McConnell: Yeah, I gotcha.

Eric Blake: When we're building a retirement plan, I think it's also important to think about from a timing perspective, do I want to travel more early on where I hopefully have better health.

Wendy McConnell: Get around better.

Eric Blake: Right. And so trying to plan my retirement around that, saying, "Okay, what would I do in the first five years versus things I might not be able to do in the next 10, 15, 20 years after that." So I think that really can, is part of the planning process as well, or should be, as far as, again, just asking additional questions or adding a little context around what you're trying to do in retirement.

Wendy McConnell: Mm-hmm.

Eric Blake: So goal three. Any guesses on goal three?

Wendy McConnell: Spend more time with the grandkids.

Eric Blake: Not the one. So I think that gets into probably more the idea of retirement and having more time, but it was actually around staying healthy, mobile, independent.

Wendy McConnell: Playing pickleball then.

Eric Blake: Playing pickleball, exactly. That's how I define pickleball is staying healthy, mobile, and independent.

Wendy McConnell: Exactly.

Eric Blake: Except solo pickleball, that's pretty, that gets, that can wear you out...

Wendy McConnell: Pretty quickly. Yeah, that's a problem. Yeah.

Eric Blake: Let's stick with doubles.

Wendy McConnell: Yes, please.

Eric Blake: But that's, especially because we talk, obviously, a lot of the episodes we do are how can women make the most out of retirement. But one of the themes is often the longevity factor, right? That women often outlive men. But I think this gets to more not just do I live longer, but do I live a higher quality of life longer as well, ideally. You know, that's best case scenario, is not only do I live 25, 30, 35 years in retirement, whatever it ends up being, but that I'm active and being able to do the things I want to do. Maybe I can't travel. Just like we talked about a second ago, I might not be able to travel and take these long trips around, you know...

Wendy McConnell: Go on hikes and climb mountains.

Eric Blake: And Europe or whatever it might be. But yeah. So being able to just stay mobile, be independent, and not be dependent.

Wendy McConnell: Yeah, not have to depend on somebody. Yes, exactly.

Eric Blake: So and then we talk about that, again, gets back to that idea of independence, and it may mean remaining in my home longer.

Wendy McConnell: Mm-hmm.

Eric Blake: You know, being able to drive. That's always one of those... I think it's interesting to see how people think about driving, because eventually it gets to more than just, "Am I able to get in my car and go where I want to go?" When you get to the point of, "Maybe I have to start thinking about giving up the keys," it's also very much connected to that independence piece, right?

Wendy McConnell: Right.

Eric Blake: So it may not even be a trip. It may not be traveling or driving, taking a road trip. It's as simple as, can I go down the street to the grocery store, right? And that's where it comes back to that staying healthy, staying mobile, staying independent, and the emotional piece of not being able to drive and get to the places I want to go. And so I think that's really something that, again, identify what does independence mean to me, and what would help me preserve it?

Wendy McConnell: We should all be focusing on mobility and flexibility.

Eric Blake: Well, and I think it's interesting, and actually I've considered, I really ought to have him on the podcast. So my wife, Dawn, she works with a trainer, and it's funny that, you know, I always talk about my audience being women over 55. He's a younger guy, he's in his early 30s, but a lot of the work he does is with women over 55 because he's a big believer in that mobility piece. It's not just, you know, doing bench presses and doing pull-ups or whatever it might be. A lot of the work he does is around that mobility part.

Wendy McConnell: Right.

Eric Blake: And just being able to get up.

Wendy McConnell: And balance.

Eric Blake: Well, what's funny is she... well, I mean, it's not even funny because it's real. She talks about that they will practice falling.

Wendy McConnell: Oh, wow.

Eric Blake: Right? How do you actually fall without breaking your wrist or breaking your elbow or breaking something, right?

Wendy McConnell: They do that when you ski, so yeah, this is good stuff.

Eric Blake: So I think that is, again, all comes back to what do I want to do? What do I want retirement to look like beyond just the fun stuff, but again, just be able to maintain my independence, my mobility to enjoy life many years down the road as well.

Wendy McConnell: Right.

Eric Blake: There's obviously some intermingling between what do we call a goal or a bucket list item and still being a concern, right? Because number four was reducing debt and taxes while preserving savings, and I think actually that means some people thinking about being debt-free and those decisions around do I go into retirement with a mortgage? Do I not? Do I try to pay it off before I retire or not? Those types of things. But taxes is always a big one, and it doesn't matter how, what your financial situation is, there's always that tax piece that's there, and understanding what are the tax rules I should be aware of specifically.

Wendy McConnell: Okay.

Eric Blake: Because the other thing we always know is that it's not going to be as permanent as all these things. We talk about the One Big Beautiful Bill Act making some of these different tax positions permanent. But they're only permanent until the next administration potentially. Right. Right? And so it makes it so much harder to plan and understand things like, and you hear all the headlines about, you know, Social Security being tax-free, or it's really now it's just this age 65 plus deduction that reduces how many people pay taxes. So it's all these different moving parts that just make tax planning so difficult. And of course, that's my biased opinion, that most people probably should work with a financial planner that specializes in tax planning.

Wendy McConnell: Really?

Eric Blake: I think that's a great idea, don't you?

Wendy McConnell: Yes, I do.

Eric Blake: But I think it's also, and you know, for some people taxes is not as big an issue as what they might think it is, but it's just so overwhelming because we're worried about taxes throughout all of our working years and in retirement. And of course, in retirement we feel like we have less control as well. And that's really where I think the advantage of planning comes in to say there actually may be some things we can do proactively to reduce your lifetime tax liability. But it always remains that black box of just I don't know what's in there, I don't know what to do, I don't know what...

Wendy McConnell: Right.

Eric Blake: What am I looking for? How do I even know what's next? How do I evaluate my tax return or RMDs and IRMAA and QCDs and all these different things that pop up.

Wendy McConnell: Oh, no.

Eric Blake: It's just like, yeah, it's like lions and bears and tigers, oh my, or whatever it is.

Wendy McConnell: Yes, that's exactly what I thought of.

Eric Blake: But I think it's always one of those that people just, it's a goal that, hey, I don't want to pay more in taxes than I need to, but it actually still comes back to a worry that I might be paying too much in taxes. And then goal five, it actually speaks to what you brought up earlier as far as enjoying life, family, purpose, and legacy, and that's really where we start talking about enjoying time, spending time with family. Maybe it's helping children or grandchildren pay for these big life event-type items, whether it's a wedding, serving the community, volunteering, all these different things that people would like to do. But now it's how do we put those pieces in place to make that a reality?

Wendy McConnell: Right.

Eric Blake: And so that was the... I think that was one of the things that, again, if you just ask, "When can I retire?" it's not a big enough question.

Wendy McConnell: Right.

Eric Blake: I think it's more about what am I retiring to? I think that's a great way to ask it. What am I looking forward to in retirement beyond just not working anymore?

Wendy McConnell: So how much do you, how important do you think it is to have, um, you know, purpose?

Eric Blake: To me, I think it's extremely important, and I think that's why, you know, when we have a prospective client coming in to consider working with us or consider hiring our firm, that's one of the things I like to ask before we really get into the numbers.

Wendy McConnell: Uh-huh.

Eric Blake: Because if we're working with folks, or women specifically, who are looking at making the transition into retirement, depending on what their life has looked like up to this point, there may be a lot of uncertainty. And if you have uncertainty, it makes it much more difficult not only to enjoy retirement, but even have confidence to spend what I have.

Wendy McConnell: Okay. Yep.

Eric Blake: And so when we start identifying purpose, it's more about what is my vision? What are my dreams? And identifying those now helps us work our way back and say, "Well, let's start putting some numbers around that. How can we make that a reality?" We start looking at your resources. Again, talking about that retirement income puzzle where you've got Social Security, you got IRAs, you may have some Roth IRA, you got whatever, whatever your pieces are. How can we start putting those pieces together in a way that makes sense for you?

Wendy McConnell: Okay.

Eric Blake: All right, so those are the five, top five goals. Now let's talk about the top five worries. And again, you're going to see some overlap, of course. And the first, of course one, the first worry is running out of money. So it's not only is it the first goal, it's the first worry.

Wendy McConnell: It's always the first concern.

Eric Blake: But it was actually phrased a little bit differently when they were answering the worry or what keeps me up at night question specifically, it's about things like running out of funds or not having enough saved. That was a big one as well... Okay... not having enough saved, or will I have enough...

Wendy McConnell: Mm-hmm.

Eric Blake: ...being the worry, right? Not outliving my money.

Wendy McConnell: Right.

Eric Blake: Not having... this is an interesting, the way this one's phrased, not having enough money to see me through to the end. Right?

Wendy McConnell: That is one way to put it.

Eric Blake: And somebody even indicated, you know, having to work into old age, and I think that's really where when you start thinking about the need versus the want. There are people who may want to actually continue working as long as reasonably possible. They may not want to do the same things they were doing before.

Wendy McConnell: Right.

Eric Blake: But they may want to do something just for connection, for community. It may be partly because of money as well. It may be for healthcare, could be any number of reasons. But it again comes back to the, do I have to or do I want to? And I think that's a big part of that conversation, and I think that's really where when you think about... this is one that really jumped out at me as well, and is I don't have much to work with and I can't afford mistakes.

Wendy McConnell: Hmm.

Eric Blake: Right? And I think that really captures that this is much more than just a math problem. There's a lot of pressure. People can... you can feel a lot of pressure when you're thinking about, you know, I don't have room to... and that's, I think we're back to that tax piece of thinking, "Well, I don't know. I don't know what to ask. I don't know how to do this. I might make a mistake." And I think that's something that again creates tension, creates pressure. Am I doing the right thing? Who can I trust?

Wendy McConnell: Right. Right?

Eric Blake: And I think there's that fear of running out of money often combines a lot of questions together, and it's actually we don't, how long might I live? What will I need to spend? What income do I have that will last me throughout my lifetime? So we actually, we talk a lot about Social Security, and regardless of what people's opinions or feelings about Social Security or the future of Social Security, that's one of those areas that to me making the wrong decision can have long-lasting impacts. And it might not be... for many women, it may be the very primary source of retirement income, and actually that means the decisions you make are even that much more important. But whether it's the primary source or just part of the plan, the decisions you make, again, can make a lot of difference over what am I living on in those later years when I'm 80, I'm 85, I'm 90.

Wendy McConnell: Right.

Eric Blake: Again, we don't know how long everybody's going to live, but the decisions you're making now, and feeling that pressure about making the right decision, that, Social Security, taxes, those are all part of that conversation.

Hey, everyone. It's Eric. Hope you're enjoying today's episode. I want to take just a quick moment to share a resource I think you'll find valuable. Have you ever found yourself asking, how much can I put into an IRA this year, or how much can I earn before my Social Security gets reduced? Those are the kinds of questions that come up all the time, and the answers change often more than you think. That's why we created a free two-page tax and retirement planning cheat sheet, updated for 2026, with the key tax, Social Security, and retirement numbers all in one place. You can download it right now at the simplyretirementpodcast.com/retirementcheatsheet. It's a simple reference you can keep handy whenever questions come up. Now, back to the episode.

All right, so then again, as these kind of overlap, worry number two was healthcare, and specifically now we're starting to talk about some of these other issues, healthcare, insurance, long-term care.

Wendy McConnell: Mm-hmm.

Eric Blake: Actually, there were some people that answered it simply as just one word, health, but others specifically addressed, "Now how do I make decisions about Medicare?" Medicare is just one of those topics that shouldn't be as complex as it is, but just by the nature of how it works and what it does and all the advertisements and everything you see, it's just like I don't know where to even turn with this.

Wendy McConnell: I hear you, man. I'm afraid of it. I'm like, "I don't even want to deal with it at all."

Eric Blake: And then you start talking about, you know, managing different health issues that arise. Unfortunately, that's part of also aging is our health declines, and how do I manage that process? How do I think about paying for long-term care if I had to go into an assisted living or had to go into memory care or had to go to nursing homes? Ultimately, that's one of the biggest things that people worry about, that women specifically worry about, and I think that's really where for women planning for retirement, whether you are married or you're planning for retirement on your own, it's really where thinking about what impact this is going to have on me specifically or my family as I am reaching some of these health challenges or I'm facing some of these health challenges, and how do I navigate these difficult decisions and complex topics around Medicare? Or how do I pay for long-term care? Do I have enough money? I have to sell my house. Am I... should I sell my house now in order to have enough money to pay for these healthcare challenges?

Wendy McConnell: Right.

Eric Blake: And we get to worry three, which was again something of a combination of things we've already talked about, but it's Social Security and Medicare decisions.

Wendy McConnell: Mm-hmm.

Eric Blake: Right? And again, it's all sprinkled in, all... you can see all these different pieces that overlap, but thinking about when should I start Social Security? Should I start Social Security as soon as I'm eligible at 62? Should I wait till I'm 67? Yeah. And of course, wondering whether Social Security's even going to be there, whether payments might decrease, right? And how to get the best benefit for their specific circumstances.

Wendy McConnell: Okay.

Eric Blake: One woman asked whether she could live on her pension long enough to delay Social Security, and somebody else just said, "Hey, Social Security and Medicare, those are my worries. That's what keeps me up," right?

Wendy McConnell: Okay.

Eric Blake: So it ranges, it varies greatly from very specific concerns that women have versus just the general concept of Social Security and Medicare. But again, I think it ultimately comes down to how do I make all these pieces start fitting together? And do I need the income now? And those are some of the questions that women ask as well as it relates to this. Do I need the income now? Am I still working? How is my health? Am I facing healthcare challenges now, or do I have a family history? And then also looking at, as we start putting these pieces together, thinking about what other income or savings could I use if I wanted to delay Social Security? Also thinking about marital status. Am I married, divorced, widowed? Could any other types of benefits apply? And again, that's why I've done so many different episodes on Social Security, because it can present such a challenge and creates stress.

Wendy McConnell: Mm-hmm.

Eric Blake: So that was worry three, Social Security, Medicare decisions. And then now again, we get to worry four, which is taxes. So the two questions, obviously there's always going to be some overlap between what's my goal, my goal is reducing taxes, versus my worry about paying taxes. And I think that's really where identifying what your specific, what do you feel like is standing in your way, right? And some women just, she just wrote taxes. Others asked about more complex strategies like Roth conversions. How is my retirement income going to be taxed? How can I keep more of their retirement benefits? So obviously we already talked about taxes appeared as a goal, which shows that women are not only worried about their tax bill, but they also want to understand whether they have some choices.

And I think that's really where taxes in those retirement years can be so daunting, is very simply that, is the sum of the unknowns, and how do all these pieces fit together in thinking about those different tax decisions, because they're different than they are in your working years, right? So for many people it's, "Okay, I'm just going to stash as much money in my 401(k) as I can, because I know that's going to reduce my tax bill."

Wendy McConnell: Mm-hmm.

Eric Blake: I might have some different tax credits while I'm working, child tax credits when you're younger. All these different ways that seem relatively straightforward as ways to reduce taxes, a lot of those things go away when you get to retirement. And even thinking about combining, again, the tax and the Social Security question about how complex can they really make it to understand how Social Security does get taxed. We can't just have one simple number like your, you know, your adjusted gross income or my gross income or something like that. We got to create some other income, provisional income. Let's throw that in there.

Wendy McConnell: Yeah. Oh, let's make it as difficult as possible. Now I think what we should do is once you turn 70 you don't have to pay taxes anymore. Wouldn't that be great?

Eric Blake: I would say there's probably a number of people that might agree with you on...

Wendy McConnell: That. Let's take it easy on our elder community.

Eric Blake: Well, yeah, exactly, because then you start thinking about like RMDs are one of the... everybody's heard about them, don't necessarily know what they were. They keep changing the age.

Wendy McConnell: Right.

Eric Blake: Is it 70? And there's been a lot of people that reach out and say, "Hey, you know, I'm going to be RMD age. I'm going to be turning 70 and a half soon." That was several years ago, right? And so it's understanding that, you know, I don't even know when my age is. When should I... why is there an age anyway in the first place?

Wendy McConnell: Yeah, yeah.

Eric Blake: But is it 70 and a half? Is it 72? Is it 73? Is it 75? Just roll the dice and just pick one. How about that?

Wendy McConnell: Yeah, they, you know, they just start forcing you to unsave your money, right?

Eric Blake: To me, again, I'm the nerd, so I enjoy doing these things. I enjoy evaluating tax scenarios and coming up with strategies and all that kind of stuff. But it is definitely one of the most overwhelming parts of retirement planning, especially if you've gone through, we're talking about, you know, whether you've gotten divorced later in life or you've been widowed, and now your tax situation has completely changed, and that's really where it can present those really big challenges. The widow's penalty and things along those lines that just become, again, you can get stuck and just not know where, what's my next move, and I just don't know.

Wendy McConnell: Okay.

Eric Blake: And again, just as a reminder, these are responses from our Facebook group, but that's why I ask these questions, because I then have the opportunity to share, whether it's sharing episodes, resources, answering questions within the group, whatever it might be. That's really where the group becomes so valuable for the members that are in there.

Wendy McConnell: Okay.

Eric Blake: Last worry I wanted to talk about is probably somewhat obvious as well, but it's investments, worried about the market declining, and also just using different accounts. Which accounts should I be drawing from? So we've talked about taxes, we've talked about Social Security, but one of the other things to think about is, well, you know, if I'm delaying Social Security, where's my income going to come from?

Wendy McConnell: Right.

Eric Blake: You know? If you are going through retirement, that may mean you don't want to work at all. Do I have enough saved? And if I do, where should I be drawing from first? Should I be drawing from my 401(k) or IRAs? Should I be drawing from my savings? Where should that money come from?

And of course, the next logical concern is, well, if I'm taking money from my accounts, what happens if the market does go down? What happens if the market declines? What do I do then? How do I manage my risk? Do I need to look at something that's got more security? But then if I'm trading off security, am I giving up something else? Am I giving up inflation protection and the cost of living increase? Because that's one of the things... we're going to share some resources here in a little bit, but I think that's one of the things that often gets misunderstood is, well, as soon as I retire, I've got to be as conservative as possible because I got to save my money, I got to protect my money.

Wendy McConnell: Mm-hmm.

Eric Blake: Not thinking about the other side of that equation is, well, what if I live for 25 or 30 years in retirement...

Wendy McConnell: Right.

Eric Blake: And the cost of living continues to increase. Is my savings, if I am extremely conservative, let's say I'm just putting money in CDs or savings account or whatever it might be, is that going to be enough to help me keep up with the cost of living? Especially we've seen the impact of that in the last few years especially. Do I have enough, is one part of that equation, but do I have enough to last? And am I making good investment decisions with these dollars to not only provide the income I'm looking for, but is it going to help me keep up with inflation over time?

Wendy McConnell: This is when we bring in the war chest, and the buckets, and...

Eric Blake: Where'd you hear that from? Short-term and...

Wendy McConnell: Long-term.

Eric Blake: Are you actually listening to my podcast...

Wendy McConnell: Episodes? I knew nothing about this before this job, and I tell you, I've learned a lot. A lot, a lot.

Eric Blake: Well, I appreciate that. That makes me feel good. So I shared something that made you feel good earlier, when my mom said, "It's better when you're on the show." Yeah. Now you made me feel something good that you actually are listening to what I'm saying and some of the strategies.

Wendy McConnell: All right.

Eric Blake: Look at that. So those are our five top goals and bucket list items, and obviously the five concerns. And there's a lot of overlap across, and actually, it's obviously a lot dependent on who is answering those questions and what they feel their top goal was, and then what they feel like their biggest concern was. So it's natural there's going to be some overlap, but I think that ultimately the theme that I picked up as I was going through the responses, and it can be obviously expressed in different ways by who is answering those questions, but am I doing this right? Right? I think that's the big question. Am I doing this right? Is there something I could be doing better? Again, I think that it's still impactful to me was I just, I can't afford mistakes, right? And I think that's one of the most scary parts of retirement planning is feeling like I don't have any do-overs.

Wendy McConnell: You don't.

Eric Blake: Realistically... right, that may not be. Now, it's also understanding that looking for guidance can be important, looking for resources, but I think that's one of the things that was really, for me, this podcast, it's one of the reasons I wanted to do this podcast from the very beginning. So we're over three years now, but thinking about women not knowing, they were saying they didn't know where to begin, right? So what, unsure about what steps to take. Some were worried that they were missing opportunities. One widow said that her financial advisor rarely returned her phone calls, which is obviously not good.

Wendy McConnell: Mm-hmm.

Eric Blake: Another said that she and her family, they were worried that they were being taken advantage of.

Wendy McConnell: Yeah, and that's a huge fear.

Eric Blake: Absolutely, and it should be. And unfortunately, and it's not, not necessarily naturally the financial services, but it, but understanding, and I think that's really where the differentiating factor to... and there's even situations where you've worked with an advisor for many years, but there's nothing wrong with asking the question about, "What is your experience with retirement?"

Wendy McConnell: Mm-hmm.

Eric Blake: For our audience, thinking about, what do you know about Social Security survivor benefits or widows benefits or spousal, ex-spousal benefits, and being able, okay, asking those questions because ultimately it is your retirement. And I think that's one of the things that I would want women to take from this conversation is you don't necessarily need to know the next step, but you need to know the questions to ask to help get guidance for that next step.

Wendy McConnell: Yep.

Eric Blake: Right? And I think if that describes you, the answer is not that you should, you know, not know everything already, but ask the right questions, receive answers in a way that you understand them, because you very likely know what you feel like the problem is, but then understanding if I get a recommendation on solving that problem, do I understand it? Why is it being suggested? What does it cost? What am I giving up? And then what happens if my life changes?

Because someone can't explain the recommendation in language you understand doesn't mean you failed the test. It probably means the other person needs to... you need, either you need to continue asking questions or get to the point where you feel like, hey, you're not done with that explanation. I need more detail. I need to understand this. Because as I've always said, the better, more confidence you have when you make that decision, the more educated you feel, the more likely you are that you're going to stick with that decision.

Wendy McConnell: Right. Because it's your money, not their money.

Eric Blake: Absolutely. And I think, again, when we look across all the responses, I think the two questions that seem to sit underneath most of them are, again, will I have enough? Am I making the right decisions? And those questions may never disappear completely, right? Retirement, obviously there's always going to be some level of uncertainty, and we don't know exactly how long we're going to live. We don't know what the markets are going to do. We don't know how tax laws are going to change, and of course, what healthcare we'll need.

And confidence does not require pretending those uncertainties don't exist, right? I think it comes from understanding the decisions that are in front of us and knowing what we can do if our circumstances change, but also seeking guidance, seeking advice, seeking education. And it may be that you don't... "Hey, I know enough that I don't necessarily think I need a financial advisor, but, hey, I need to know, is it a podcast? Is it a book? Where can I get the education that's going to help me make those more confident decisions?"

Wendy McConnell: Okay, got it.

Eric Blake: So I did want to share a few episodes that, and just, not necessarily episodes directly, but as you are starting to evaluate your decisions and where you can get information, I think one of the things that we think about is what information would help me make the decisions more thoroughly, right? So we're going to share links to episodes we've done on Social Security, because that's obviously a big topic of concern. We're also going to share a link to episodes we've done on the healthcare and the Medicare decisions, some of the experts we've had or some of the professionals we've had in those areas that can help you think about... I think that's, again, thinking better about the questions I should be asking.

Wendy McConnell: Okay.

Eric Blake: All right. Lastly, we're going to share our link to episodes we've done on investing in retirement. I do think that's one of the most challenging aspects of it, is simply saying, okay, it's not necessarily wrong to think that I need to be conservative when I get to retirement, but not feeling like that I'm trading one risk for another. In that if I say, "Hey, I'm going to be conservative," yeah, I might not experience market losses or market risk, but you might actually be taking on more inflationary risk or loss of purchasing power over time. So how can we think just a little bit differently about how to invest when we get to those retirement years to provide the income that I need as well as help me keep up with the cost of living, that I can still pay for the things I want to do and pay for the things that are going to be in front of me several years down the road.

Wendy McConnell: Yep.

Eric Blake: So anything that jumped out at you, anything that was surprising? Again, I think that one of the things was that a lot of the goals and concerns, there was a lot of overlap in both of those. Again, just kind of depending on who was asked, actually answering or putting the responses to the questions as they were joining the group.

Wendy McConnell: Yeah, I think the responses were smart.

Eric Blake: Yeah, absolutely. But I think, again, the overwhelming nature of just retirement planning is that we always want... there's always the dreams and the visions of, "Hey, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do that," but then we have to think about, "Well, how am I actually going to make all that happen?" And I think that's where the overwhelming part comes in, is how am I going to make decisions on Social Security? How do I make decisions on healthcare, investing, all these topics that, again, if you can alleviate those worries, now we really get to the point where we can enjoy those retirement years.

Wendy McConnell: Okay.

Eric Blake: So if you're not already part of the Facebook group, I would love for you to check it out. It's the Simply Retirement community on Facebook. We'll include a link to the group, of course, along with the episode links, the categories that we shared just a little bit ago. Wendy, thank you for joining the conversation and for giving your insight on the questions that were shared by our listeners and by the Facebook group members. Be sure to follow the podcast so you're notified when new episodes are released. And until next time, please remember, retirement is not the end of the road. It's the start of a new journey.