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#67 - Navigating Life After Loss – Part 1: The First Week

Eric Blake: On today’s show, we’re starting a special three-part series, Navigating Life After Loss. The first episode is going to focus on what to do in the first week after losing a spouse—when emotions are raw and decisions feel overwhelming.

Eric Blake: Welcome to another episode of the Simply Retirement Podcast, where we want to empower and educate women to live your retirement on your terms. I’m your host, Eric Blake, practicing retirement planner with over 25 years of experience, founder of Blake Wealth Management—and I would not be the man I am today without the women in my life. This episode is for those navigating the very first days: the fog, the phone calls, the decisions. It’s a time filled with emotion, but it also carries immediate financial and legal responsibilities. We’re also going to be offering a free resource to accompany this episode and the two that will follow: Navigating Life After Loss, A Comprehensive Guide for the Newly Widowed. It will be available as a free downloadable PDF and a summary of this episode. You can also find it at simplyretirementpodcast.com or on your favorite podcast platform. And don’t forget, if you have a question, a topic idea, or if you’re facing a specific retirement challenge and you’d like to hear that covered on an upcoming episode, visit simplyretirementpodcast.com/askeric.

Eric Blake: Joining me once again on this episode is Wendy McConnell. Wendy, how are you?

Wendy McConnell: I’m good. How are you?

Eric Blake: I’m doing well. We have some big news coming up. It’s Tuesday the 29th, and my daughter is going to be joining our practice on August 1st, which is this Friday.

Wendy McConnell: Wow.

Eric Blake: Yeah, we are very excited about that. We’re giving Dawn—who has been handling our operations role and relationship manager role—a chance to focus more on marketing while also spending more time being grandma.

Wendy McConnell: So you’re expanding.

Eric Blake: We are. We’re very excited. My daughter has some experience in what we do, and she’s excited, and we’re excited. It’s a special time—a win-win.

Wendy McConnell: It is.

Eric Blake: All right. Onto today’s episode. Again, we’re talking about what needs to happen within the first few days. You’d hate to think that anything has to happen, but unfortunately there are challenges when we lose a spouse or somebody very dear to us. And of course, we know grief is exhausting. There is no playbook on how to feel, but there is one for what to prioritize. With existing clients, I reassure them that we’re going to walk beside them through every step. If you’re not working with a firm like ours, this is when you want to make sure you lean on your friends, your family, or professionals who understand what’s coming—because it is a challenge, to say the least.

Wendy McConnell: One of the first things we have to remember is to call our financial advisor.

Eric Blake: That is one of the things that’s on the list, yes. And that’s basically what I want to do: I want to share some things that you’re not going to remember all of. That’s part of why we’re sharing this guide. But it’s just things to be aware of. I’d also say this is going to apply to 90% of situations. There will be some who say, “I didn’t have to do that,” or “I don’t think you really need to do that,” or “I had to do this differently.” There are going to be outliers, but in general this is going to apply to most situations. It’s also going to apply when it’s not a spouse. It may be a parent, or somebody close to you, and you might be in the role of helping navigate these issues. So that’s really what this is for: to outline what the next steps are, what to think about, and what to be aware of, so hopefully you don’t get caught by surprise.

Eric Blake: The first thing we’re going to talk about is, you hate to talk about this because it’s one of those administrative things, but when your spouse passes away, one of the first things you’re going to do is request copies of the death certificate. And we typically recommend somewhere between 20 and 30 copies, depending on what type of accounts you have, what type of assets you have, and really you want to order more than what you think you might need.

Wendy McConnell: Twenty to thirty sounds like a lot though. Is that typical?

Eric Blake: It is. Well, because you never know who’s going to ask for one. If you’re thinking about multiple bank accounts, some people only have a joint account and a savings account, but others might have separate accounts for certain goals or expenses. I’ve seen clients have a separate account just for property taxes, and then there are IRAs, Roth IRAs, and other investment accounts. They start adding up much quicker than you realize. You might even run into situations where a utility bill is in only the spouse’s name.

Wendy McConnell: And a copy won’t suffice—you need original certified copies?

Eric Blake: Certified copies is what we’re talking about. You only get one original death certificate, but then you get certified copies. Now one of the big keys here is that the funeral home—wherever the services are held—can typically help with that process, and usually at a lower cost and with much less hassle than ordering them later. That’s also why I say order more than you think you’ll need.

Wendy McConnell: Right, because it’s a bigger hassle down the road to have to go back and order more later.

Eric Blake: Exactly. And, typically, if the funeral home is handling arrangements, they’re also required to notify Social Security. We’ll talk about why that’s important in a little bit. Another thing to keep in mind is that some firms—ours included—may request an original copy of the death certificate. But once we’ve completed what we need to do with it, we’ll return it. So that’s something to be aware of as well.

Eric Blake: Obviously, one of the other things you’re going to do is make funeral or memorial arrangements, depending on what the wishes were. You’ll also want to notify close family and friends. And this is also the time to make sure you know where the will and estate planning documents are. This may mean reaching out to your attorney or financial advisor if they happen to have copies.

Eric Blake: One of the things I’ll touch on with the guide that we’re sharing is that not only does it walk you through the different items to do in the first week, first month, and first year, but it also includes a section in the back to help you gather and organize key details. It prompts you to list your important professionals—your CPA, financial advisor, attorney, doctors—and where your important documents are. That way you can get it down on paper and start making progress, even in the middle of everything.

Wendy McConnell: Okay.

Eric Blake: Some of the professionals you’ll want to reach out to early include your estate planning attorney, or possibly a probate attorney depending on your situation, your financial advisor, your CPA—anybody who should be informed early in the process.

Wendy McConnell: Okay.

Eric Blake: Another thing that often gets overlooked is arranging care for dependents and pets. Whether you’re a younger family with children or an older couple with pets you’re responsible for, you’ll need to make sure someone is helping. While you’re grieving and handling these responsibilities, you want to make sure everyday care continues—those small details are actually very important.

Wendy McConnell: Right.

Eric Blake: Once those immediate things are done, the next step is notifying institutions. I mentioned Social Security earlier. The funeral home will typically notify them, but this is also when you may want to apply for the $255 lump-sum death benefit that Social Security provides to a surviving spouse. That’s done with Form SSA-8, and you have up to two years to apply. While it’s not a huge amount, every bit can count, and in some cases it may be urgently needed.

Wendy McConnell: So is there a fee for that? Like a $255 fee?

Eric Blake: No, it’s actually a $255 benefit. You’ll need to file Form SSA-8 and provide documentation, but once approved, it’s paid out as a lump sum.

Wendy McConnell: So there’s really no reason to wait.

Eric Blake: Correct. There’s no reason to wait, although again, you do have up to two years if you didn’t know about it right away.

Eric Blake: If the spouse was a veteran, make sure you reach out to the VA. There may be eligibility for burial assistance or other survivor benefits. That’s something you want to do fairly early.

Eric Blake: If the spouse was still working, you also need to contact their employer—not only to notify them of the passing but also to follow up on benefits, a final paycheck, and other employer-related items. These can become big issues if not addressed right away.

Eric Blake: Next, notify financial institutions—your banks, credit unions, and investment firms. Some people push back on this step because they worry about losing access to accounts, but it’s really important. You want to make sure the accounts are protected so there’s no unauthorized use while you’re focused on everything else.

Wendy McConnell: So basically just making sure you’re the only authorized user on those accounts?

Eric Blake: Exactly. Unfortunately, this is also a time when families can run into conflict. I’ll give you an example: we had a client whose husband passed away in his early sixties, just after starting Social Security. He had created a separate account for his Social Security deposits and, for some reason, made his brother the joint owner. As soon as he passed, the brother withdrew all the money from that account.

Wendy McConnell: Oh, family.

Eric Blake: Yes. Family can be either very supportive or, unfortunately, the opposite. That’s why it’s so important to be aware of how accounts are titled and who has access.

Wendy McConnell: So in that situation, if she had called the bank right away to say her husband passed, would that have stopped the brother from accessing it?

Eric Blake: Potentially. We don’t know all the details in that case. If it was truly a joint account, there may not have been much she could do, because joint ownership means either person has full rights. But if she had known and notified the bank, there’s a chance they could have put a hold on it. That’s why awareness is key.

Eric Blake: Sometimes people open accounts just to hold their Social Security deposits, thinking, “I’ll let this build up; I don’t need it right now.” That’s fine—but the account should be properly titled, with correct beneficiary designations. In this case, he opened it as a joint account with his brother, and that created a major problem.

Wendy McConnell: Okay, so what about a joint account with your spouse? If your spouse passes away, can you just remove them from the account, or do you have to open a whole new account?

Eric Blake: It depends on the type of joint ownership. There are different forms—community property, joint tenants with rights of survivorship, and others. The rules vary by state and by the account type. That’s why I recommend contacting the bank right away. You don’t want to be caught off guard and suddenly lose access.

Wendy McConnell: Got it.

Eric Blake: Some banks may allow you to use a simple affidavit form to remove the deceased spouse and keep the account open. But in other cases—especially if the account was individually owned—you may have to go through the probate process. That’s where an estate planning or probate attorney is essential.

Wendy McConnell: And that can take a long time.

Eric Blake: It can. And that’s exactly why estate planning is so important. Planning ahead makes a huge difference. For example, we had a client—let’s call her Sue—whose husband passed away shortly after they completed their estate plan. He had several investment accounts, including employer stock accounts, and all were only in his name with no beneficiaries listed. Because they had just completed their estate plan, she was able to access those accounts with much less hassle than she would have otherwise.

Wendy McConnell: Oh wow.

Eric Blake: Yes. By going through probate she eventually accessed the funds, but had those accounts included simple beneficiary designations, it would have been much quicker. On the positive side, she did get a step-up in basis on those investments, which reduced her taxes. She was even able to sell shares and pay off the mortgage at a time when cash flow could have been very tight.

Wendy McConnell: Got it.

Eric Blake: The lesson here is that estate planning, beneficiary designations, and proper account titling make all the difference. Unfortunately, widows often feel resentment when they’re left with disorganized finances. They’re grieving, but they also have to sort through a financial mess that could have been prevented.

Wendy McConnell: And I can imagine that resentment feels like, “Why would you leave me with this mess?”

Eric Blake: Exactly. Often it’s not about blaming one spouse or the other—it’s that planning wasn’t done together. And now the surviving spouse is left holding the bag on top of the emotional loss.

Eric Blake: Let’s talk about keeping the essentials running. You want to make sure that essential bills—like the mortgage, utilities, and insurance—are paid. Be aware of which things are on auto-pay and which are not. This is where advance communication really matters: knowing what’s coming in, what’s going out, and how things are being handled.

Eric Blake: We mentioned earlier about arranging care for dependents or pets. Sometimes that means temporary support or having a family member step in to help. It may seem like a small detail, but it matters a lot when you’re going through grief and trying to keep life running at the same time.

Eric Blake: Here’s another important one that surprises many people: don’t cancel digital or phone accounts too soon. Don’t cancel email accounts or cell phone service right away. You might need access to contact information, text messages, emails, photos, banking logins, or other important items that were tied to your spouse’s phone or email. If you cancel them, you could lose that access permanently.

Wendy McConnell: Right, because you might need to go back and look for old information.

Eric Blake: Exactly. Something as simple as online banking or photo storage can be tied to an email address. If that’s gone, recovering access can be a nightmare. So keep those accounts active until you’re absolutely sure you no longer need them.

Eric Blake: Next, assess your immediate cash needs. Funeral expenses, monthly living costs—those continue. If needed, you may have to request a temporary distribution from investment or retirement accounts to bridge the gap. If you’re uncertain about your income picture, know what your options are.

Eric Blake: This is also where the guide we’re sharing comes in handy. It includes worksheets to help you list your important contacts, account numbers, and insurance policies. Whether you prepare it in advance or use it after a loss, it serves as a roadmap to get organized.

Wendy McConnell: So this is something I could fill out ahead of time—put account numbers, passwords, everything—so that if something happens, my spouse would know exactly where to go?

Eric Blake: Exactly. That’s what the guide is designed for. It’s laid out in sections: what to do in the first few days, what to do in the first month, what to do in the first year, plus extra considerations. At the back, it has a section for recording contacts, insurance policies, and account details. Ideally, it’s filled out ahead of time. But if it wasn’t, it can also be used after the fact to help you gather what’s needed.

Wendy McConnell: Makes sense.

Eric Blake: Before we wrap up, let’s hit a few key takeaways. First, take care of yourself emotionally. Lean on your support system—it’s crucial. Second, make sure the essential bills and accounts are covered. Third, begin gathering documentation, like death certificates and estate documents. Fourth, notify financial institutions and professionals as needed. And finally, don’t hesitate to ask for help—whether from friends, family, or trusted professionals.

Eric Blake: I’ll share one story. About a year ago, I got an email from a client with the subject line, “Something terrible has happened.” Within 24 hours of her spouse’s passing, she reached out to us. As sad as that was, I also felt it was confirmation that she trusted us to help her through the hardest moment of her life. That’s the kind of support I want clients to know they have.

Wendy McConnell: Of course.

Eric Blake: If you don’t have a financial advisor or an attorney, lean on your support system. Don’t carry everything alone. You won’t be emotionally prepared to handle all of it yourself, and you shouldn’t have to. That’s why having resources like this guide—and people to help you work through it—is so valuable.

Wendy McConnell: Absolutely.

Eric Blake: So to wrap up, thank you all for tuning in. And a big thanks to Wendy for joining me on this important episode. If you or someone you love is in the early days of widowhood, please download our free guide, Navigating Life After Loss: A Comprehensive Guide for the Newly Widowed. It’s available with the episode summary at thesimplyretirementpodcast.com, or on whatever podcast platform you prefer.

Eric Blake: Please like, follow, and share the show—especially if you know someone who may be going through this process right now.

And remember, retirement is not the end of the road—it’s the start of a new journey.

Content here is for illustrative purposes and general information only. It is not legal, tax, or individualized financial advice; nor is it a recommendation to buy, sell, or hold any specific security, or engage in any specific trading strategy.

All investing involves risk including loss of principal. Results will vary. Past performance is no indication of future results or success. Market conditions change continuously.

Information here is provided, in part, by third-party sources. These sources are generally deemed to be reliable; however, neither Blake Wealth Management nor RFG Advisory guarantee the accuracy of third-party sources. The views expressed here are those of Blake Wealth Management. They do not necessarily represent those of RFG Advisory, their employees, or their clients.

This commentary should not be regarded as a description of advisory services provided by Blake Wealth Management or RFG Advisory, or performance returns of any client. The views reflected in the commentary are subject to change at any time without notice.