TRANSCRIPT
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#68 - Navigating Life After Loss – Part 2: Financial & Legal Aspects
Eric Blake: On today's show, we're continuing our three-part series on navigating life after loss. Specifically today, we're going to be talking about the financial, legal, and practical steps to take in the first few weeks after losing a spouse.
Eric Blake: Welcome to another episode of the Simply Retirement Podcast, where we want to empower and educate women to live your retirement on your terms. I'm your host Eric Blake, practicing retirement planner with over 25 years of experience, founder of Blake Wealth Management, and I would not be the man I am today without the women in my life.
Eric Blake: In our last episode, we talked through some of the most important first-week steps after losing a spouse. We talked about things like death certificates, making funeral arrangements, being sure that you notify family, close friends, and professional contacts who may be able to support you and help you navigate those days ahead. If you missed it, I definitely encourage you to go back and listen to that episode.
Eric Blake: Joining me once again is Wendy McConnell. Wendy, how are you?
Wendy McConnell: I'm good. Thank you for having me.
Eric Blake: Excellent. Well, things are all right with the world. I've got the grandbaby and the daughter in the house this week.
Wendy McConnell: Ooh. So you get to enjoy the baby and be a grandparent, not a—
Eric Blake: Yes. Much better. Much better.
Wendy McConnell: Not a baby watcher.
Eric Blake: Well, enjoy. I definitely will. As in the last episode, I mentioned that my daughter's coming on board, so she came into town—or she's coming on board to our retirement planning practice. So she's in town. She starts work tomorrow, as a matter of fact, as we're recording this. So she came in to do some training, get prepared, and then we'll go from there.
Eric Blake: All right. Well, best of luck to everyone involved. Thank you. Thank you. Definitely exciting to have them both in there, and there's something special about having the family. My son is actually—I'm not sure if I've shared this—he's still living with us. His plan is probably to move out in January, but there is just something special about having your kids back in the house. I love the empty nester thing. My wife and I love spending time together, but there's something about having all the kids in the house again that is very special.
Wendy McConnell: Well, that's why you have them, right?
Eric Blake: That's why you have them. Yes. So eventually they can grow up, get out, and then just come visit. Good for you.
Eric Blake: So I had a question for you before we hop into today's episode. Was there anything in particular that jumped out at you from our last conversation about things to do in the first week of losing a spouse? Anything that stuck with you or surprised you? I know you asked me about the death certificates and why you need so many, but was there anything else that stood out to you?
Wendy McConnell: No, I think what really was the most beneficial is to think about this stuff and plan for this stuff beforehand so that you are not caught off guard and, in addition to your grieving, having to figure all this stuff out. So—to plan ahead.
Eric Blake: Well, and that's always the hard part, because you never want to think about anybody passing away. But it just makes life so much easier. The guide that we're walking through in these three episodes that we're going to be sharing in the episode summary—it’s designed to help you put all the pieces together, but it is much easier to put those pieces together when there's not the emotional impact on top of it.
Wendy McConnell: Because you're not thinking clearly.
Eric Blake: Absolutely.
Eric Blake: Well, and before we get into this, I want to make sure—the things we're talking about are inspired by real-life experiences. In many cases, this guide was developed through work we've done with widows over the years. It's also just a reminder that every journey is going to be different. And the biggest thing is none of us are meant to go through this alone.
Eric Blake: One thing I also wanted to touch on, especially with these first two episodes when we're talking about the first few weeks after losing a spouse—there are going to be things that could have been done in the first week but weren't. There are going to be certain things that maybe normally should be done in the first few weeks but had to get done right away. So again, just know that every situation is different, and your story or the experience of someone close to you who may have lost a spouse—the timeline may be different.
Eric Blake: But our goal with this series and the guide we’ve created is to help you avoid some of these missing pieces that are really important, because sometimes those missteps can lead to financial stress or delays that make the grieving process even more difficult. Just as a reminder, you can download our guide Navigating Life After Loss: A Comprehensive Guide for the Newly Widowed by going to the SimplyRetirementPodcast.com, or in the episode summary on the podcast platform that you’re currently listening to.
Eric Blake: So as we get into these first few weeks—getting past that first week, the shock, and everything that goes with that, the emotions—you start getting into the next few weeks. As difficult as it is, now is probably the time to start thinking about scheduling a meeting with your attorney, if you have one.
Eric Blake: If you’ve got an estate plan in place, you’ve got your wills, you’ve got these pieces in place—you want to reach out to your estate planning attorney to start thinking about the probate process. And this is one of those where the urgency level is going to be different based on the situation.
Eric Blake: We shared one story with a client where the deceased spouse had a number of different investment accounts where he was the only owner—it was just his name—and there was no beneficiary designation. So for her, the urgency level was greater to get the probate process started, because that was the only way she was going to be able to utilize these assets.
Wendy McConnell: Right. Now, I thought that an estate plan helped avoid the probate process.
Eric Blake: There are a couple different components to that. So first, just a will. Most people—it could be as simple as having a will. You have a will, and that says, “Here’s what I want to happen to all my stuff.” Right? But a will must still be probated.
Wendy McConnell: Right.
Eric Blake: Where you would avoid probate—and where some of these things could be made easier—is a living trust.
Wendy McConnell: Okay.
Eric Blake: It’s going to be very similar in terms of what it’s trying to accomplish, but the methodology in how it accomplishes it is going to be different. So: a will always has to be probated. A living trust usually will not.
Wendy McConnell: Okay.
Eric Blake: Does that make sense?
Wendy McConnell: Yep, absolutely.
Eric Blake: So in her case, for example—again, we talked about this in the last episode—he had individual accounts that were in his name from different employers from his past work experience. She was not on them anywhere. But because they had just recently completed their estate plan, fortunately—though you never want to think about those scenarios happening that quickly—it had only been a few months since they had gotten those done.
Eric Blake: She was able to start the probate process, get the “letters of testamentary,” which basically says, “I’m the one who is able to make these decisions and move these assets around.” She was then able to get those assets into her name and figure out the best way to use those funds for her particular situation.
Eric Blake: This is where you want to start thinking about, okay—what property do I need to retitle? Any certain property, vehicles, investment accounts—we’ve already touched on that. But again, depending on the legal requirements, the documentation you may need will depend on whether you have a will, whether the accounts have beneficiary designations, and whether they are in joint or individual ownership. All those things need to be evaluated.
Eric Blake: Again, that’s where this guide—listing those things out to figure out exactly what has to be done—is so important.
Eric Blake: You also want to think about, of course, if your spouse owned any business interests. Now is also the time to start thinking about what those next steps are going to be. If there was a succession plan—what happens to that business? If your spouse was an owner or part-owner in a business, what happens to that ownership? Was there a succession plan in place that predetermined what would happen with their part of the business? You want to start thinking about what that looks like and what steps need to be taken, again, whether an attorney needs to be involved.
Wendy McConnell: Yep.
Eric Blake: We touched on, in the first week, just figuring out what financial accounts you have—whether it’s bank accounts, investment accounts. After you get past that first week and start figuring things out, this is going to be a good time to begin thinking about closing certain accounts, updating joint financial accounts to individual ownership, putting them in your name.
Eric Blake: For individual accounts, you’ll need to make sure you confirm whether you’re listed as “payable on death” as a beneficiary, or if that asset is going to need to go through probate.
Wendy McConnell: Okay.
Eric Blake: Beneficiary designations—this is where you want to start thinking about your own accounts. If you’re married and your spouse who passed was the primary beneficiary, you need to start thinking about who to change those beneficiaries to on your accounts.
Eric Blake: Again, I always say this is when you want to start thinking about it—potentially starting to take action within those first few weeks. This isn’t something I would call extremely urgent, but you don’t want to forget about it either.
Eric Blake: When you’re in this time of emotions—asking yourself, “What do I do? Where do I go? What’s my next step? What’s my first step?”—these are just checklist items. But this is one you definitely want to make sure you take care of because it can create challenges down the road.
Eric Blake: If you forget to change the beneficiary from your spouse, there might be extra steps in order for those assets to get passed down to your children or grandchildren, or wherever you ultimately want them to go. So you definitely want to start getting your own documents updated.
Eric Blake: We talked about titling vehicles and property. Again, all those types of things—you’re going to have to start working on getting those into your name. I’ve seen so many stories, especially with houses, of people not thinking they need to do anything. And then all of a sudden you’ve got a house in both names, one spouse passes, and nothing was ever changed.
Eric Blake: You never put the house in your own name. And then when the second spouse passes away, now the children are left figuring out: “First I have to settle my father’s estate, then my mother’s estate, before I can do anything with the house.”
Wendy McConnell: Okay, well, what if the father passed three years before and his estate was settled?
Eric Blake: Hopefully that’s the case. But if not, you still have to go through the process of getting the name changed into the surviving spouse’s name. That’s the tricky part. If the children are trying to get both parents off the house because they’re both gone, that’s where the difficulty comes in. You’ve got to figure out how to get all that done, even if one spouse passed away years ago and the other just recently. If they’re both still on the house title, it creates challenges.
Wendy McConnell: Got it.
Eric Blake: Make sense?
Wendy McConnell: Mm-hmm.
Eric Blake: Now let’s get into Social Security. Thinking about our audience: if you’ve started Social Security or your spouse had started Social Security, this topic deserves its own segment. That’s why we’ve broken this one out separately.
Eric Blake: Here’s something that almost always takes people by surprise: if your spouse was receiving Social Security benefits, here’s what usually happens. Benefits are paid one month in arrears.
Eric Blake: Meaning, if you’re receiving a payment—let’s say we’re at the end of July—July’s payment actually gets received in August. If your spouse passes away in April, that May deposit is not payable. But in most cases, it would still be paid into the account, and then the bank will likely withdraw it.
Wendy McConnell: Okay, so you’re saying it’s paid in arrears, meaning it’s behind?
Eric Blake: Yes. Your April payment is paid in May. So you’re always one month behind.
Wendy McConnell: So the payment I get in May is really for April?
Eric Blake: Yes.
Wendy McConnell: Got it. Okay, that makes sense. At first I thought you were saying the opposite.
Eric Blake: This is the tricky part, because regardless, once someone is deceased, they are no longer due a payment. As harsh as that might sound, depending on when they pass within the month, the bank may still withdraw that payment and send it back.
Eric Blake: If your spouse passed away late in the month and hadn’t yet received the benefit for that month, you could still be eligible to get it. But now you have to file a form—Form SSA-1724—to claim that benefit.
Wendy McConnell: Okay, so the bank is sending it back to Social Security?
Eric Blake: If they’ve been notified of the passing, in most cases they will return that payment to the Social Security Administration, yes.
Wendy McConnell: Okay. So if I pass away at the end of the month, I may have claim to April’s payment, but May I have no claim to?
Eric Blake: And it’s not even a portion—it’s either you were eligible or you weren’t. If you weren’t eligible because you passed away before the payment was due, then it will be withdrawn, and that’s it. They just pull it right out of your bank account. All of a sudden you just see $2,000 or $3,000 taken out.
Wendy McConnell: Removed. Yeah.
Eric Blake: For example, if your spouse passed away on April 30th but the April benefit was scheduled for May 3rd, the Treasury may still pull it back.
Wendy McConnell: Even if they lived the whole month, they’ll take it back?
Eric Blake: That’s the tricky part. They may still withdraw it. But if the individual lived the entire month, they could still be due that payment. If it’s withdrawn and you were due, then you have to file SSA-1724 to claim that benefit.
Wendy McConnell: My question is—do you have all of these forms memorized, or are you reading from something right now?
Eric Blake: I’m reading from something right now. I know the forms, but I made sure to put them all together. And just as a heads-up, these are all in the guide, so don’t feel like you need to memorize them. Don’t be writing these down.
Wendy McConnell: I wouldn’t put it past you to know them by heart. That’s why I had to ask.
Eric Blake: A few of these notes, yes, I’m definitely reading, just to make sure I don’t miss anything.
Eric Blake: Now here’s another key point about the SSA-1724 form. It’s available on the Social Security website, but it’s important to know two things. First, this form is not for applying for survivor benefits. It’s only used to apply for a benefit payment that your deceased spouse was due.
Eric Blake: Second, you are required to notify Social Security when your spouse passes away. We talked about this in Episode 1 as one of the first-week steps. If a deceased spouse’s payments continue, keeping them is considered fraud.
Wendy McConnell: That’s a no-no.
Eric Blake: That is a no-no. And those payments must be returned, one way or another. Whether the funeral home notified Social Security or you did, the money has to go back.
Wendy McConnell: Right. And keep in mind, someone will eventually contact them if you don’t.
Eric Blake: That’s why the banks are so quick to act—they don’t want to be held accountable for it either.
Wendy McConnell: Right. Nobody wants to get in trouble for that.
Eric Blake: So whether the individual was due the payment or not, the bank will send it back and let Social Security figure it out.
Wendy McConnell: Got it.
Eric Blake: We’ll put the SSA-1724 form in the show notes for you.
Wendy McConnell: Yes, for sure.
Eric Blake: This is an important part of the process, and it almost always triggers additional emotions. People feel like, “I’ve lost my spouse, I’ve lost my husband, and now they’re taking money away from me.” It’s an emotional response, especially because most people don’t realize that’s how the system works.
Wendy McConnell: Good to know.
Eric Blake: Okay, now let’s talk about Social Security survivor benefits. I want to make sure we go through this, but we won’t spend as much time as we might normally because we did a full episode on this.
Eric Blake: Again, this is separate from returning payments with the SSA-1724. Survivor benefits are what you may receive on an ongoing basis if you’ve lost a spouse. For a full breakdown, I’ll point you to Episode 37: Top Five Questions on Social Security Survivor Benefits.
Eric Blake: But here are a few key points. A survivor benefit is available as early as age 60—or younger if you have dependents. So if this is a younger family, you may be eligible if children are under 18.
Eric Blake: If you were already receiving spousal benefits at the time of your spouse’s passing, you might automatically get an increase to the survivor benefit since it’s based on the deceased spouse’s record. But you should still contact Social Security and formally apply.
Wendy McConnell: Okay.
Eric Blake: If you are receiving your own Social Security benefit, the only way to switch to a survivor benefit is to schedule a meeting and apply. But just because you’re eligible doesn’t mean you should. This is where planning comes in, and it’s a bigger decision than most people realize.
Eric Blake: Sometimes it’s smart to delay the survivor benefit. Sometimes it makes sense to switch later. It depends on your overall retirement plan. Again, that’s why I recommend Episode 37, where we walk through the details. You can also find it at SimplyRetirementPodcast.com/37.
Wendy McConnell: Mm-hmm.
Eric Blake: Now let’s shift to debts. You need to understand what debts your deceased spouse may have left—credit cards, personal loans, or medical bills. Unfortunately, medical bills are common if there was a long illness. You need to figure out what you’re legally responsible for.
Eric Blake: In some cases, medical billing offices may be willing to negotiate, especially if you’re the surviving spouse paying them. So you want to explore your options and understand what you truly owe.
Wendy McConnell: Okay.
Eric Blake: Next, let’s talk about fraud and financial abuse. You want to notify the three major credit bureaus to flag the accounts and prevent identity theft.
Eric Blake: Continue monitoring joint and individual accounts for unusual activity. Sometimes when information gets out—say, from an obituary—it can be misused.
Eric Blake: And here’s another point about probate. If you just have a will, that process becomes public record. That means personal details are out there for anyone to see. A living trust can avoid that, which is why some attorneys recommend it.
Wendy McConnell: So a living trust is like a more in-depth process? We’ve always heard about wills, but not everyone talks about living trusts. It used to feel like estate plans were for wealthy people, and everyone else just had wills. Has that shifted?
Eric Blake: A living trust is more expensive, because it requires more work, but it also accomplishes more. Susan Barnett—Episode 22—talked about this in detail, so I’d encourage listeners to check that out.
Eric Blake: Historically, people used living trusts if they had complex estates—multiple properties, assets in different states, or large estates. These days, privacy alone can be a valid reason. Even if you don’t have a huge estate, a living trust may be worth it depending on your circumstances.
Eric Blake: But again, every situation is individualized. If your assets already have beneficiary designations or payable-on-death designations, you may not need one. But for many, the privacy and simplicity of avoiding probate are worth the added cost.
Wendy McConnell: Good to know.
Eric Blake: Final point here—don’t forget about your spouse’s digital footprint. Email accounts, subscriptions, memberships, online platforms—you’ll eventually want to address those. But don’t rush to shut them down. There may be important information tied to those accounts, especially emails or cell phones that you’ll need to access in order to close or manage other accounts.
Eric Blake: Take your time. Figure out what should be closed right away and what should stay open for a while so you can get what you need.
Wendy McConnell: Is there any guidance on social media? I mean, how do you even go about that? When my mom passed away, we didn’t know any of her login information for Facebook. Six years later, her account is still there.
Eric Blake: Social media platforms now have options to designate someone who can access your account if something happens to you. Otherwise, you can submit a request to notify them of a death. Some platforms will turn the profile into a memorial account.
Wendy McConnell: Oh, okay. So it can still exist but not be used for posting and such.
Eric Blake: Exactly. You’d have to decide whether to have it shut down completely or converted to a memorial account.
Eric Blake: Even iPhones now allow you to designate a “legacy contact”—someone who can access your phone data if you pass away. I’ve done this with my wife, and she’s done the same with me. That person gets a notification and has to accept, but then they can access your data if necessary.
Wendy McConnell: Through their phone or do they need yours?
Eric Blake: They can access it through their phone.
Wendy McConnell: I don’t know if I like that.
Eric Blake: That’s a whole other conversation—we won’t get into that right now.
Wendy McConnell: Is that only with certain iPhone versions? I think I have a 14, and I don’t think I’ve seen that option.
Eric Blake: No, it’s a pretty standard feature now. Apple realized this was a big problem—if the only way to access someone’s phone is by knowing their passcode, families could be stuck. We’ve seen stories in the news where phones couldn’t be unlocked after tragedies. That’s why they added the legacy contact option.
Wendy McConnell: Okay.
Eric Blake: Really, this should be part of your estate plan: what happens to my phone data, my social media, and my online accounts. There are ways to document that information so the right people have access.
Wendy McConnell: Good point.
Eric Blake: Okay, before we wrap up, let’s review some of the key topics. A lot of this will feel overwhelming—that’s why the guide exists. The process is heavy, but unfortunately we all have to move forward in some way.
Eric Blake: Key points: close and update joint accounts; check beneficiaries on your own accounts; talk to an estate planning attorney—especially if probate is required; understand how Social Security handles deposits and whether you’re eligible for payback or survivor benefits; reassess your financial picture (cash flow, housing, estate planning needs); monitor for identity theft and cancel unnecessary subscriptions or memberships.
Wendy McConnell: Got it.
Eric Blake: One last example—we had a client whose husband passed away about five months ago. We weren’t sure at first whether probate would be required. She reached out to an attorney, who confirmed it was necessary. That process also made her realize she needed to reevaluate her own estate plan. That’s something we’ll be discussing in the next episode.
Eric Blake: In that episode, we’ll start talking about the first year and those bigger financial decisions. We’ll also discuss the “12-month rule”—the idea that you shouldn’t make major decisions within the first year of losing a spouse—and whether that’s good advice.
Eric Blake: As always, thank you for tuning in. And a big thanks to Wendy for joining me once again.
Eric Blake: If you haven’t already, be sure to download our free guide Navigating Life After Loss: A Comprehensive Guide for the Newly Widowed. It’s available in the summary of this episode. And please don’t hesitate to reach out to us directly if you’re going through this transition and need guidance—we’re here to help.
Eric Blake: That’s it for today’s episode. For all the links and resources mentioned, visit SimplyRetirementPodcast.com. Please be sure to like, follow, and share the show, especially if you know someone who may be going through this process right now. Until next time, remember: retirement is not the end of the road—it’s the start of a new journey.
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