TRANSCRIPT
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#69 - Navigating Life After Loss – Part 3: Planning Your First Year with Clarity and Care
Eric Blake: On today's show, we will conclude our three-part series on navigating life after the loss of a spouse. We're also going to address the traditional advice of not making any major financial decisions in the first 12 months after losing a spouse. Is this good advice or not?
Welcome to another episode of the Simply Retirement Podcast, where we want to empower and educate women to live your retirement on your terms. I'm your host, Eric Blake, practicing retirement planner with over 25 years of experience, founder of Blake Wealth Management, and I would not be the man I am today without the women in my life.
Over the last two episodes in Navigating Life After Loss, we talked about the immediate to-dos after the death of a spouse and what to focus on within the first couple of months. Today we're going to talk about that first full year. When you start to see some of that fog begin to lift, life starts to feel very different, but there are some decisions that become more urgent while others can wait. The challenge, of course, is knowing the difference.
Joining me once again is Wendy McConnell. Wendy, how are you?
Wendy McConnell: I'm good. How are you doing?
Eric Blake: I am good. So real quick, I announced last week that we brought my daughter on to join the team. And of course, this week means she's training. She's getting a handle on all the technology and getting her computer set up. My wife is doing all the stuff that she typically does, which means I don't know how to do it. Which also means if they're working together, guess who's responsible for the grandbaby?
Wendy McConnell: See? And you thought you were going to have a break?
Eric Blake: Yeah, it's been fun. It's been awesome. She loves being outside, which is a good thing. So we take long walks, we play outside. We’ve got this little splash pad we set up on the driveway for her, so she's able to keep herself pretty busy. We're all good.
Wendy McConnell: Hey, I want to take a dive in that splash pad. That sounds fun.
Eric Blake: It's not very big. It's big enough for an 18-month-old. That’s about it, though.
Wendy McConnell: Bummer.
Eric Blake: But she has a good time with it.
Wendy McConnell: Good.
Eric Blake: Before we dive into today's main topic, I wanted to revisit the conversation we had on Social Security that we touched on in the last episode because I'm not sure how clear I made that. So what happens if the spouse passes away and they receive Social Security benefits? What happens in that first month or two?
So the bottom line is what you want to know is this: if the spouse lived the entire month, they are due a Social Security benefit the following month. Social Security pays in arrears. So, just for reference, we’re recording this in early August. If the spouse lives the entire month of August, they are due a Social Security benefit payment in September. However, if they were to pass away in the month of August, they would not get a payment in September.
Wendy McConnell: Okay.
Eric Blake: Now, the tricky part is that in many cases, the banks will return that payment no matter what — whether they are due the payment or not. That’s where some of the confusion comes in. If they lived the entire month and they receive the payment the following month, you’ll get to keep it. However, if the bank withdraws it — because again, they’re worried about fraud and all those kinds of things — that’s where SSA Form 1724 would come in. That form is used to have the estate or the surviving spouse apply to have that payment returned to them.
Wendy McConnell: Okay, I understand.
Eric Blake: So basically, it’s this: did they live the entire month or did they not? That will determine whether they should receive a payment in the following month. Hopefully, that’s as clear as I can make it.
Wendy McConnell: Yeah. Well, you know, it’s tough. I understand.
Eric Blake: Okay, so now we wanted to talk about this: once you get past some of the initial paperwork and the decisions that have to be made relatively quickly, the rest of the year is often when some of the bigger questions emerge about what things are going to look like ongoing.
There’s kind of a sense of settling. There’s still going to be that emotional piece of it, but this is when you need to start thinking about long-term planning. And we want to talk about how to navigate that as clearly and confidently as possible.
That’s where I wanted to bring up this advice that you hear quite frequently: don’t make any major financial decisions in the first 12 months.
Here’s the way I would frame it, as best you can: really, it should be try to avoid emotional decisions in that first 12 months.
Wendy McConnell: Okay.
Eric Blake: That doesn’t mean you should do nothing. In fact, there are some things that just can’t wait. We know that grief can cloud your judgment. It can be extremely difficult to separate emotions from choices in that first year.
Ideally, we want to pause, evaluate your options as logically as possible, and, if needed, get trusted advice that can make a huge difference.
Wendy McConnell: Okay.
Eric Blake: Here’s the way I think about it. In most cases, and this is through my experience over the last 25 years, what’s interesting is that it’s the planning that was done before death that impacts those decisions in the first week or first month.
That’s what we’re talking about: Did we have a will? Did we have our estate plan in place? Did we have the right beneficiary designations and ownership on retirement accounts and investment accounts? Did we have life insurance, and was it titled correctly? All of those are decisions that need to be made prior to death to make life as smooth as possible for the surviving spouse.
Then there’s the planning after death. That’s just as important. But that’s where that first year really comes into play. That’s when we start thinking about questions like:
What should my beneficiary designations look like now?
Who should serve as my executor now that my spouse has passed?
Who are my trustees going forward?
What are my income sources, and what’s the most tax-efficient way to use them?
Should I apply for Social Security benefits, and if so, when?
Should I stay in my home, downsize, or rent?
That’s where those first-year questions come into play — the planning after death. But again, the planning before death is what often makes those first weeks and months either extremely difficult or at least somewhat manageable.
Wendy McConnell: Yeah, absolutely.
Eric Blake: As we start looking at some of these different variables, one that is so critical — but most people don’t realize how critical — is tax filing status.
In the calendar year that your spouse passes away, you are still able to file Married Filing Jointly. But in the following year, unless you have dependent children, you’ll most likely be filing as Single. There are some exceptions, but that’s generally the rule of thumb.
It may not seem like a big deal, but it can dramatically affect your tax situation. You might find yourself in a higher tax bracket with fewer deductions, even if your income drops. We talked about this in Episode 66 when we discussed the widow’s penalty and the implications.
Eric Blake: So in that first year, and again, it always depends on when the spouse passes. Did they pass early in the year, which gives you more time to think through things, or late in the year, when you may not have much time to act?
I shared a story a couple of episodes ago about a client whose spouse passed away in December. There just wasn’t any opportunity to do anything. It’s not something you can force or push through in any way.
This is where you might think about things like Roth IRA conversions. If you expect to be in a higher tax bracket in the future, should you convert some of that taxable money into tax-free money now?
Wendy McConnell: Okay.
Eric Blake: Or capital gains harvesting — meaning if you have highly appreciated stock or mutual funds, should you think about selling some of those this year? Some of these moves may be related to your liquidity needs, but from a tax standpoint, the difference in brackets between filing Married Filing Jointly and filing Single can be significant. Recognizing some income at today’s lower brackets could be a big advantage.
Wendy McConnell: Okay.
Eric Blake: Even this year, like 2025, we now have the new over-age-65 $6,000 deduction. If your spouse passes away in 2025 and you’re both over 65, you might get a total of $12,000 in deductions between the two of you. But in 2026, you’re going to lose one of those — and if your income is too high, you might lose them altogether.
That’s a very real scenario for a lot of people. In some cases, it may even make sense to incur a higher one-time tax bill in the year of death in order to reduce tax burdens for future years. You might say, “I’ll do a really big Roth conversion in 2025 to avoid higher required distributions later.”
That’s why planning is so critical — and why working with a tax-savvy retirement advisor is so important, especially if decisions need to be made quickly before year-end.
Wendy McConnell: Yeah, I mean, and that’s important to point out because I certainly wouldn’t know if it would be beneficial for me to pay more this year so that I can pay less in the future.
Eric Blake: Exactly. And the confusion comes because most people aren’t thinking about what their tax situation will look like in 2026 or 2027 when they’re still grieving the loss of a spouse in 2025.
But depending on the circumstances, that’s exactly what you may need to consider. And trying to do that while you’re on the emotional rollercoaster of loss is just so challenging. That’s why you hope to have people on your side who can help you navigate those decisions.
Wendy McConnell: Exactly.
Eric Blake: So then we start talking about rebuilding your financial foundation. Once you get some of the urgent tax planning out of the way, then it’s about rebuilding your longer-term financial future.
This is when you review your income plan, update your withdrawal strategies, and possibly consolidate financial accounts. For example, if your spouse had an IRA and you have an IRA, do those need to be combined into a single account? It depends on your income needs and tax situation.
You’ll also want to update ownership and beneficiaries on your accounts and life insurance policies. Reassess your investment allocation and risk level. If your spouse was the one driving investment decisions, your approach might be different — more conservative or more aggressive. So you’ll need to adjust your investment strategy.
You may also need to establish or rebuild your own credit if much of your financial life was in your spouse’s name. That can be important for future housing decisions.
Finally, start defining your specific goals: Do you want to travel? Downsize your home? Support family? Adjust your retirement timeline? All of that needs to be factored in.
Eric Blake: We touched on this in the last episode when we talked about filing for survivor benefits, but I think it’s critical to talk about it here as well. If you’re eligible for Social Security survivor benefits, when should you think about starting those?
I’m not going to spend a lot of time here because we already covered it in detail last episode, but just knowing what you’re eligible for, the amounts, and when the right time to file is — that’s critical. And as I mentioned before, go back and listen to Episode 37: Top Five Questions on Social Security Survivor Benefits. That will give you more insight into your options.
Wendy McConnell: Mm-hmm.
Eric Blake: Another big area is evaluating your house and your lifestyle. Where you live — and how — will be one of the biggest financial and emotional decisions you face.
You need to ask: Is my current home affordable? Is it manageable? Is there an emotional connection that makes me want to stay? There’s nothing wrong with staying, of course. But if the home is too big, too costly, or filled with painful reminders, you may feel like you need to move.
We talked about this in Episode 60: Should You Downsize or Rent in Retirement? That conversation wasn’t just about the financial aspects, but also the emotional and lifestyle aspects. For example: Do I want to travel more? Should I live near an airport to make that easier? Do I need to live closer to family?
Wendy McConnell: Okay.
Eric Blake: These are the kinds of questions you’ll start to think about during that first year. You’re probably not going to have everything figured out, but the wheels will start turning: What do I want my life to look like now?
And let’s be real: grief is always going to be there. You’ll never be exactly the same. But as you put the pieces together, you’ll start thinking about how to support yourself, your family, and your community.
Wendy McConnell: Yeah. You know, it’s interesting — things can change over time too. I had a neighbor who lost her husband suddenly. At first, we were all nervous and asked, “Are you going to move?” She said, “No, this was our dream home. I’m going to stay here.”
But within two years, she realized she was too far from her kids, and she didn’t have much to do. Eventually, she decided she needed to be closer to her children. So, after about two or three years, she moved.
So things change too. Always keep that in mind.
Eric Blake: Exactly. And that’s why the 12-month window is just a general guideline. There’s no magic in it other than the idea of avoiding emotional decisions in that first year.
Take your neighbor, for example. If she had pulled the trigger and moved six months in, she might have regretted it. But by giving herself time to process and think, she realized, “Okay, this isn’t the situation I want to be in anymore.”
And you never know what the emotional component is going to be. For one person, staying in the home is comforting because it’s where they raised their kids and lived their life together. For another, staying may be unbearable because of constant reminders. You never know which way it will go — and sometimes people make choices that surprise everyone, even themselves.
That’s why it’s important to allow time, to process, and to recognize that your feelings might shift as you move forward.
Eric Blake: Once you move into that planning phase and start rebuilding your financial plan, there are also smaller, more personal, and sometimes emotional administrative tasks that may surface during that first year.
Some examples include:
Contacting religious or community organizations for support. This is part of deciding what community you want to be in and what kind of support you’ll need going forward.
Updating your address or forwarding mail if you decide to move.
Updating recurring prescriptions and pharmacy information — something that often gets overlooked.
Retitling assets, valuables, or collectibles. There can be emotional components here, but it’s still necessary.
Handling safe deposit boxes or accounts in your spouse’s name.
A lot of this ties back to whether pre-planning was done or not. I’ve shared this example before: a husband had multiple investment accounts in his name only, without beneficiary designations. Fortunately, they had a solid estate plan with wills in place, which made the probate process much easier. That allowed his widow to move those accounts into her name and ultimately use the funds to pay off her mortgage.
That was huge for her cash flow and her ability to manage day-to-day expenses.
Wendy McConnell: Yeah. But isn’t “beneficiary” a required field at this point? How do you even set up an account without designating one?
Eric Blake: It depends on the type of account and the source of the money. In this case, he worked in the tech world with companies like Hewlett-Packard. He had multiple stock accounts from different employers — some of which had been sold or converted into other types of accounts. They weren’t IRAs, they were brokerage accounts.
So he had several accounts with similar stocks that he had accumulated over time, but they weren’t retirement accounts. That’s why there were no required beneficiary designations.
Wendy McConnell: So the estate plan is what really saved the day there.
Eric Blake: Exactly. If he had put a transfer-on-death designation on the accounts, that would have helped too. But fortunately, because they had their estate plan and wills done, the probate process was manageable, and we were able to walk through it with her.
Once the accounts were moved into her name, we had the conversation: should she pay off the mortgage? And in her situation, the answer was yes, because maintaining that mortgage payment would have been very stressful.
Wendy McConnell: And you don’t want that kind of stress at that time.
Eric Blake: Exactly. That’s why pre-planning matters so much. Without it, those first weeks and months can be much harder. But these after-death planning steps — like retitling, addressing cash flow, and updating documents — are what shape the plan going forward.
Other things to think about:
Travel documents or emergency contacts. Who fills that role now? A spouse may have always been the contact, but now it might need to be an adult child.
Updating your estate plan and beneficiary designations.
Thinking about long-term care, healthcare, or assisted living. Will adult children be able to help, or will you need to plan to handle that on your own?
Considering charitable giving or creating a memorial for your spouse.
These aren’t things you’ll likely think about in the first week or month, but as you move through that first year, they may surface.
Eric Blake: And I think it’s important to remember — you don’t have to do everything now. One of the reasons these decisions can feel so overwhelming is because the lack of planning prior to death often creates urgency around things that otherwise could wait.
So if you’re married now, think about what you can do to prepare in advance. The reality is that both spouses are unlikely to pass away at the same time. One of you will eventually be navigating this alone. What can you do now to make life easier when that time comes?
Anything else you’d add, Wendy? Did I miss anything?
Wendy McConnell: No, I think you covered it well. Every situation is different. There’s no “right” or “wrong.” It’s just about which priorities require decisions sooner rather than later.
Eric Blake: Exactly. And that’s why we created the guide — to give you a checklist of things you might not think about. Some are obvious, but in an emotional time, you may not realize them until it’s too late. The guide is meant to help you avoid having to make rushed decisions simply because you weren’t aware of something.
The organizer in the back of the guide is also helpful. It allows you to gather important items: contact information for professionals like doctors, CPAs, and financial advisors, as well as important documents. Whether you fill it out in advance or after the fact, it’s a place to keep everything together so you can move forward more confidently.
Wendy McConnell: Yep.
Eric Blake: So just a quick summary of today’s episode:
Ideally, avoid emotional decisions in that first 12 months — but don’t avoid necessary action.
Understand your tax filing window. In the year of death, you can file Married Filing Jointly, but in later years you’ll most likely file Single. That’s a key window for making tax-smart moves.
Rebuild your financial foundation with updated goals and strategies.
Take time to properly evaluate your survivor benefits and filing options with Social Security.
Reflect on where and how you want to live going forward.
Customize the next chapter of life with confidence, clarity, and support — whether from family, close friends, or professionals who can help you make informed decisions.
Wendy McConnell: Yeah, making the most of the time you have left.
Eric Blake: Absolutely. Wendy, thank you again for joining me. And thank you to all of our listeners for spending time with us today.
As a reminder, we’ll share the guide in the show notes for this episode. You can also find it on our website at simplyretirementpodcast.com. If you’re in your first year of loss and need help getting organized and taking your next steps, we’re here to support you.
Visit getmysimplyretirementroadmap.com to review our Simply Retirement Roadmap process — our three-step approach to helping you answer your biggest retirement questions and determine whether we’re the right firm to help you navigate this journey.
We’ll help you clarify what’s urgent, what’s optional, and what will move you forward with strength.
That’s it for today’s episode. For all the links and resources, go to simplyretirementpodcast.com. Hopefully you found this helpful. Please like, follow, and share this with a friend.
Until next time, remember: retirement is not the end of the road. It’s the start of a new journey.
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