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#76 - Rebuilding After Abuse: Finding Strength with Dr. Brooke Jones

In this powerful episode of The Simply Retirement Podcast, Eric Blake speaks with Dr. Brooke Jones, founder of Stronger Women, about overcoming trauma, rebuilding after abuse, and using faith, education, and the “science of hope” to create a stronger future. Together, they explore the myths surrounding domestic violence, practical ways women can regain control of their lives, and the importance of financial empowerment and emotional healing.

Introduction

Eric Blake: What if the toughest moments in your life could become the foundation for your greatest strength? Today, we’re talking about how women can rise above challenges, rediscover their purpose, and reclaim their confidence.

Welcome to another episode of The Simply Retirement Podcast, where we want to empower and educate women to live your retirement on your terms. I’m your host, Eric Blake, a practicing retirement planner with over 25 years of experience and founder of Blake Wealth Management. I would not be the man I am today without the women in my life.

Since October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, today’s conversation is especially meaningful. We’re shining a light on resilience, recovery, and creating a stronger future for women navigating life after adversity.

If you’ve ever faced setbacks, doubted yourself, or wondered how to rebuild when life doesn’t go according to plan, this episode is for you. We hope you walk away with strategies and encouragement to help you feel confident, resilient, and supported as you explore that next chapter.

Joining me today is Dr. Brooke Jones, founder of Stronger Women. Brooke is a speaker, coach, and leader whose passion is helping women overcome life’s toughest challenges and step into their full strength. With October being Domestic Violence Awareness Month, this is the perfect time to share her work. Brooke is committed to empowering women to not just survive—but thrive.

Brooke, welcome to The Simply Retirement Podcast.

Brooke Jones: It’s great to be here. Thank you, Eric, for having me.

Eric Blake: Absolutely. I know it took us a little while to get this on the calendar, but I’m so glad we made it happen.

Brooke Jones: I’m looking forward to it. Anytime I get an opportunity to share information about domestic violence—tips, strategies, or awareness—I’ll take it. We all know someone affected, and sometimes we just don’t realize it’s right in front of us or within our own sphere of influence. So it’s good to be here, and thank you for having me.

Brooke’s Story

Eric Blake: Let’s start with your story. What led you to create Stronger Women, and how does your own experience as a survivor shape the five-step healing model that’s at the foundation of your work?

Brooke Jones: That really is the foundation of Stronger Women—it began with my own story. Like many nonprofits, ministries, or organizations, it started from a founder’s personal experience.

I am the founder and president of Stronger Women, originally founded as a nonprofit in 2013 under the name Stronger Than Espresso. Many people still recognize us by that name. In 2020, we changed our name to Stronger Women, but we didn’t abandon Stronger Than Espresso. That’s actually the name of the healing process we use in our restorative program.

I’m a survivor of abuse and violence. What was meant to be destructive and detrimental in my life became something different. I’m a woman of strong faith, and I believe God gave me this opportunity to help other women heal.

I was a survivor of sexual abuse as a child and grew up in a very strict religious home. There was a lot of spiritual, verbal, and emotional abuse, and male privilege was deeply ingrained—not just in religion, but in the generational culture of my family.

As a teenager, I experienced more abuse and didn’t recognize it as unhealthy. I often say I was groomed to be abused, which sounds harsh, but it’s true. That realization helped me understand how to break the cycle.

As an adult, I entered two abusive marriages—different types of abuse: verbal, emotional, financial, and physical. People often don’t realize abuse isn’t always hitting or punching. Sometimes it’s non-physical, like punching holes in the wall or destroying property—it’s intimidation and control.

The one thing that always saved me was education. That’s why I emphasize education so much in our programs today. You can take away a person’s possessions, but you can’t take away their education or faith. Those are the foundations that remain when everything else is gone.

Lessons on Healing and Hope

Eric Blake: You mentioned earlier that education and faith became your foundation. What happened after you decided to leave that abusive relationship, and how did that experience shape the work you do now?

Brooke Jones: In my first marriage, I was young and had a career. I thought, “I’m going to get out of this relationship, and this won’t happen to me again.” That’s something many people tell themselves in their twenties or in early relationships. They don’t yet recognize the patterns of abuse or know how to protect themselves from repeating them.

Unfortunately, abusive patterns often continue—and they did for me. I met someone new who was very charming and charismatic. He told me, “Darling, we’re going to write our own love story.” Who doesn’t want that? It sounded romantic, like something out of a movie.

So I left my career, my social network, my family—everything—and moved across the country. Once I was isolated, everything changed. That’s the first sign of abuse: isolation and dependency. He controlled all the finances, and I had no support system. Abuse is never something you recognize right away—it’s gradual. They appear loving and attentive at first, but slowly, control replaces care.

My life became focused on keeping him from exploding or getting upset. Eventually, the abuse became physical. At one point, he held me hostage and beat me. I had to escape to the emergency room. I remember thinking, “This is the man who vowed to love and protect me.”

That’s what makes domestic violence so complex—it’s not a stranger hurting you; it’s someone who once promised to build a life with you.

At the hospital, the police handed me a brochure about domestic violence. I thought, “That’s not me.” But of course, it was. And when I was discharged, who do you think picked me up?

Eric Blake: Your husband?

Brooke Jones: Yes. I called him—the man I had just escaped from. It was safer to be with him, knowing where he was, than to be away and wonder what he might do. That fear is overwhelming.

The abuse escalated. Eventually, I filed for divorce, but that led to years of stalking, harassment, and legal battles. It was exhausting and humiliating. My aunt—my one champion—came all the way from Texas to help me. When she confronted him, he told her, “I won’t stop until I destroy her.”

She looked at me and said, “You already have.”

By then, I was a shell of a person—completely broken. He had taken everything I owned, but he couldn’t take my faith. That’s what sustained me when nothing else was left.

In 2005, my aunt helped me get out for good. I moved to Texas and began rebuilding. I couldn’t work for almost a year. But through that rebuilding—both my home and myself—my faith grew stronger.

In 2006, I felt God speak to me: “Stronger than Espresso.” That was the phrase He gave me. It became the name of the five-step healing process that’s now central to our curriculum at Stronger Women. Those five steps guide women from awakening and recognizing patterns of abuse to rebuilding and thriving.

Our program welcomes women from all backgrounds—whether their abuse happened recently or decades ago. Healing is layered, and recovery unfolds over time.

The great news is that today, I’m remarried to a wonderful man named Rick, and we have two beautiful children. But even years later, the trauma can linger. My ex-husband would still send birthday cards for my children—just to remind me he was watching. That’s the long tail of abuse.

Still, I rebuilt my life. I started from scratch, working entry-level jobs and slowly saving again. And now, Stronger Women is a thriving nonprofit. We help women across the country—both virtually and in person—find healing, education, and support.

Eric Blake: That is such a powerful story, Brooke. And it brings up so many myths and misconceptions about domestic violence. What do you think are some of the biggest misconceptions people have?

Brooke Jones: The biggest one is the question, “Why doesn’t she just leave?” That question is rooted in shame. People ask, “If it’s that bad, why stay?” or “She must like it if she’s putting up with it.”

What they don’t understand is that leaving requires giving up everything—your home, your car, your career, sometimes even your children. You have to be willing to walk away from all stability and safety, and that’s not easy.

Most women stay because they’re trying to protect their families. They believe they can manage the situation or make it better. And if they come from faith-based or cultural backgrounds where divorce is shamed, that adds another layer of silence and fear.

Those are the women we hear the whispers from—the ones who are quietly suffering behind closed doors.

Financial Empowerment for Women

Eric Blake: As we think about women who are starting to rebuild their lives—maybe they’ve gotten past the most difficult part and are putting the pieces back together—I often compare it to a puzzle. When you lose a spouse or go through trauma, you’re trying to reassemble all the pieces of your life. Financially, emotionally, and practically, it’s never just one area that needs healing. How can women begin reframing their past experiences and turning those lessons into strengths?

Brooke Jones: That’s a great question because our greatest strengths often come from the lessons we’ve learned. If we can look back at our experiences not as regrets but as sources of wisdom, we can move forward with hope.

I think one of the most powerful things women can do is start building financial awareness and independence. Here are a few steps I always encourage:

• Look at your financial picture today. Whether you’re in a relationship or not, make sure you understand your current situation.

• Have your name on at least one utility bill or account. That helps establish your own financial identity.

• Maintain your own checking or savings account. Even if you share expenses, always have something in your name.

• Be part of the financial conversations. Don’t let your partner make all the financial decisions. If you have a financial advisor, attend meetings and make sure you understand what’s happening.

If a woman’s partner refuses to allow those things, that’s a serious red flag. Financial equality is foundational in any healthy relationship. There’s no reason one person should have all the knowledge or access.

Many women were raised to believe they didn’t need to know about money—that their husband would take care of it. But that belief can leave them vulnerable. Having financial awareness isn’t just practical—it’s empowering.

Eric Blake: I completely agree. Honestly, I think financial advisors have a responsibility here, too. It’s our job to make sure both spouses are engaged. In my practice, I won’t take on a couple unless both spouses are involved in the process. That doesn’t mean they both need to attend every meeting, but they both need to have a relationship with me.

There’s a statistic I often share: 70% of women leave their financial advisor after their husband passes away. And it’s usually because they were never included in the relationship to begin with.

I don’t want to be part of that statistic. I want both partners to feel informed and confident. You never know what life will bring, and financial independence matters for everyone.

Brooke Jones: I love that perspective, and it’s so true. Since women typically live longer, it’s essential that they feel comfortable managing finances on their own. The earlier that confidence begins, the better.

A lot of women also carry emotional baggage around money. For many of us, money was connected to control, secrecy, or fear growing up. We need to shift that mindset and embrace the fact that women are absolutely capable of managing and growing wealth.

Eric Blake: Absolutely. That’s a big part of what we try to do—help women feel empowered and educated in every financial decision.

Brooke Jones: And I love that you use the word “empowered.” That’s really what Stronger Women is all about—helping women regain power and confidence, not just emotionally but financially, too.

Resources for Support

Eric Blake: You mentioned the word “hope,” and I’ve really been looking forward to asking you about that. You talk about the “Science of Hope.” What does that mean, and how does it help women move from surviving to thriving?

Brooke Jones: I love that question. The Science of Hope is actually very simple—it’s the idea that hope is a skill, and it can be taught.

This concept helped me understand why our Stronger Than Espresso program has always worked. The process itself builds hope into each stage. Hope involves three things:

1. A goal — something you want to achieve.

2. Pathways — ways to reach that goal, which you discover through learning, support, and new connections.

3. Willpower — the internal motivation that gives you the strength to keep going.

When a person believes that tomorrow can be better and that they can play a part in making it happen, that’s hope. It creates energy and resilience.

At Stronger Women, we help women rebuild that hope by teaching them to see what’s possible again—to find new goals, pathways, and strength.

I also just published a new book called Alive & Free: A 40-Day Journey of Hope. It’s available on Amazon and includes journaling prompts, scripture, and music suggestions. We’re using it alongside our programs to help women connect through this “journey of hope.”

When you can teach hope, you can help someone get through anything, no matter what life brings.

Eric Blake: I love that. It’s such a powerful message—and I think it’s something we all need to be reminded of. Now, as we close, I want to touch on how abuse doesn’t just affect one person. It has ripple effects across families, children, and communities. Can you talk a little about that?

Brooke Jones: Yes, and this is so important. A common myth is that domestic violence is a private family matter. It’s not.

Abuse affects everyone around the survivor. We know that most people in abusive relationships will experience stalking or harassment at their workplace, which makes it a safety issue for employers, too.

Children who witness violence—an estimated 10 million every year—often experience chronic stress, trauma, and emotional instability. It can affect their ability to trust, focus, and form healthy relationships later in life.

And then there are friends and family members who want to help but don’t know how. Often, the most important thing you can do is ask gently and listen. You might say:

• “When I see you, I’m concerned. Is everything okay at home?”
• “Can you tell me about your relationship?”
• “I found a resource that might help—can we look at it together?”

That one compassionate question might be the first time someone feels safe enough to open up.

Eric Blake: That’s incredibly meaningful. Before we wrap up, what should someone do if they’re in an abusive situation or think they know someone who is? What are the safest first steps they can take?

Brooke Jones: The first step is always safety planning. It’s not about jumping in a car and leaving—it’s about making a thoughtful, safe plan.

Here are key steps and resources:

• Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

• Visit strongerwomen.com for support, educational tools, and information on emergency planning.

• Reach out to a local shelter or domestic violence program for safety resources.

These organizations can help you build a plan, connect you with housing or legal aid, and provide a network of support.

Eric Blake: That’s so important. We’ll include all of those resources, your website, and links to your book in the show notes. Brooke, thank you so much for sharing your story and your mission. It’s truly inspiring and a reminder that hope and healing are possible, no matter how difficult the past may have been.

Brooke Jones: Thank you, Eric. It’s been wonderful talking with you, and I appreciate the chance to share this message.

Eric Blake: For our listeners, if today’s conversation resonated with you, please reach out to Brooke or visit strongerwomen.com to learn more. Whether you’re seeking support or looking for ways to help others, you’ll find resources and community there.

That’s it for today’s episode of The Simply Retirement Podcast.

As always, remember—retirement isn’t the end of the road. It’s the start of a new journey.

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