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#88 - Finding Your Financial Footing After Life's Biggest Transitions with Tony Steuer
Eric Blake: Have you ever faced a financial decision—insurance, retirement accounts, estate planning—and just thought, this feels impossible? I do not even know where to begin. Today, we are going to walk through how to determine your next steps, what to focus on when everything feels overwhelming. Welcome to another episode of the Simply Retirement Podcast, where we want to empower and educate women to live your retirement on your terms.
I am your host, Eric Blake, practicing retirement planner for more than 25 years, founder of Blake Wealth Management, and I would not be the man I am today without the women in my life. For many women, especially those who have gone through a major life event like a divorce, loss of a spouse, or any type of significant financial transition, money can suddenly feel a lot more complicated than it used to. And if you are facing retirement on your own, it can feel like every financial decision rests squarely on you.
One of the things I hear almost every day is, “Eric, I feel overwhelmed. I do not know where to start. I am not even really sure what questions I should be asking.” And that makes sense.
These situations are not just financial. They are emotional. You may be sorting through grief, uncertainty, or some type of big change, all while trying to make decisions that impact your financial future. So it is easy to feel stuck and unsure about your next step, and that is why today’s conversation is so important.
Today’s guest is Tony Steuer. Tony is an internationally recognized financial preparedness advocate, award-winning author, podcaster, and financial technology advisor. He is the host of the Get Ready Money Podcast and the creator of the Get Ready Movement, where he helps people understand and organize their financial lives in a simple and empowering way.
Tony Steuer, welcome to the Simply Retirement Podcast.
Tony Steuer: Hi Eric. Glad to be here today.
Eric Blake: Absolutely. I am so glad to have you on. You know, we have been working on this for, I think, about a year now since we first connected, and it finally turned into actually getting on each other’s podcasts. So I am glad we got it together and that we have you on today.
I am really excited about this. I have had a chance to listen to a lot of your content and read a lot of your LinkedIn posts, and I am really excited to have you on. But before we dive in, I would love for our listeners to hear a little bit more about your journey—what led to the work you are doing now, and specifically creating the Get Ready Movement.
Tony Steuer: Well, I started out quite a few years back as a fee-based insurance consultant, which is what I did for the majority of 30 years. Over that time, I worked predominantly with other advisors. I also spent a decade on the California Department of Insurance Curriculum Board.
Through that, and through doing some litigation consulting, I got to see sort of behind the curtain of what was happening with existing life insurance policies sold by other people. And so I spent a lot of time getting into best practices, learning about fraud, and helping to create tools to lead to better practices.
That led me to the conclusion that it was not really about the numbers. Oftentimes I would be called in and an advisor would say, “Hey, my client has all these life insurance policies. Tell me what to do.” We would make these recommendations, and the client still would not take action.
So I realized that it really was not about the numbers. These were smart people. They understood the challenges. They had an advisor who fully understood the issues, but yet they would not make changes that were in their best interest.
So I went deeper into psychology and financial behavior, and that led me to starting a podcast and becoming more involved with financial literacy. The other thing I realized was that we do not know what questions to ask, and that is really the most important thing—knowing which questions to ask, as you alluded to in your intro.
That was my first book, Questions and Answers on Life Insurance, and that has led me to this journey where I really concentrate on helping people feel confident that they know which questions to ask.
Eric Blake: What I think is so important, especially when you think about some of these major life transitions—and as we were preparing, we went back and forth messaging each other—is the reality that many women face after big life events. Any type of major financial challenge often brings this feeling of overwhelm.
Talk about why it is so important to even acknowledge that feeling, and what the first step is when someone does not know where to start or what questions to ask.
Tony Steuer: First of all, you have to acknowledge the feeling. Sometimes we feel like we are supposed to know what to do, so we take action because we do not want to be the one who says, “I do not know what I am supposed to do.”
Think back to our days in school. You did not want to be the one who raised your hand and said, “I do not understand what is going on,” because everybody else just nodded, since they did not want to be that person.
I think that is part of it. You are hit with a bunch of emotions—grief, anger, whatever you are facing—but at the core, it is overwhelm. Part of that comes from a lack of preparation and communication that ideally would have happened between couples before something occurred.
But once something has happened, you are going to be overwhelmed. That is just natural. There is so much stimulus, people asking you to make decisions, and everything is happening at once.
What I recommend is simple: stop. Take a deep breath. Do not make any rash decisions, and do not make any big decisions. You have time on most things. Take that time to really think about what you want to do and what is best for you, not what other people are telling you to do.
Eric Blake: I love that you brought up the classroom analogy—nobody wanting to ask the question. As we get older, we often hear, “If you have the question, someone else probably does too.”
Along those lines, we did not learn a lot of this in school. One phrase of yours that I love—and I have heard you use it on several podcasts—is financial fluency, comparing learning about money to learning a new language.
I think that is a great concept because if you do not know what you do not know, you have to start somewhere. Can you talk about what financial fluency means and why that mindset is so helpful for someone just trying to find their footing?
Tony Steuer: Financial fluency is about viewing money like learning a different language. There is no shame or judgment in not knowing a language. I do not speak Japanese, and I do not feel ashamed about that.
But with financial literacy and education, there is often shame attached. Being told you are “financially illiterate” does not create positive feelings. So reframing it as fluency—learning a different language—changes the mindset.
In the world of money, there are many different languages. When I worked as a consultant as part of advisory teams, I did not speak “tax.” I knew enough to interact with attorneys, but tax was not my language.
So for someone who feels overwhelmed, the key is learning the basics. When you travel to a foreign country, you learn a few phrases—where is the bathroom, how do I get around, do you speak English?
The same applies here. It is okay not to know. The question becomes, how do you begin learning the language?
Eric Blake: One thing I see often is a level of embarrassment, especially among women, when it comes to finances. Often a spouse handled it, and now they are trying to understand it on their own.
Why do you think shame shows up so strongly around money, and how can someone begin to let go of that and take the first steps forward?
Tony Steuer: A lot of it comes from societal expectations. You are an adult, so you are supposed to know these things. But where did you actually learn them? Where did you learn insurance terms or what a deductible is?
That shame comes from feeling like you should know something, even though you never had the chance to learn it. You have to give yourself grace and say, “I do not know this, and that is okay.”
The most powerful thing you can do is say, “I do not know,” and then ask for help. People are usually willing to help and explain.
If you are overwhelmed, think about what you want to learn, ask for help, and keep asking questions until you feel satisfied. You have that right.
Eric Blake: That reminds me of a prospective client we are working with who is in the middle of a divorce. Her husband worked with a financial advisor for over 20 years, and she had never once been included in a conversation.
I told her that she had already taken the most important step—being willing to ask for help.
That leads to another concern. When people feel vulnerable, they can become targets for bad advice or pressure tactics. You have seen serious cases involving financial abuse. What red flags should people watch for?
Tony Steuer: Scammers follow a playbook. One big red flag is time pressure—being told you have to act right now. Another is isolation—being told not to talk to anyone else about it.
If someone says it is a secret or that nobody else knows about it, that is a red flag. There are no secrets.
Those two—time pressure and isolation—are major warning signs.
Eric Blake: In our Simply Retirement Roadmap process, we intentionally build in a “take your time” step. I do not want people making big decisions immediately.
Why is slowing down so important before making major financial decisions?
Tony Steuer: I learned this doing first-response medicine and rescue work. Before acting, you put your hands in your pockets, take a breath, and assess the situation.
Salespeople try to focus you on whether a product is good or bad. Instead, you need to focus on your goals and values.
Once you are clear on those, the question becomes whether a product supports them. Otherwise, you can get locked into long-term products that do not serve you.
Eric Blake: Insurance often has the worst reputation, even though it is an important part of planning. You come from a fee-based insurance background, which is interesting. Can you explain what that means?
Tony Steuer: I reviewed existing life insurance policies for clients, usually at the request of financial planners. Clients often had multiple policies accumulated over time.
I would explain the pros, cons, and red flags. Often, policies were misaligned with the client’s goals because they did not know what questions to ask.
Financial abuse often comes from people we know and trust. You have to separate the person from the product and decide based on your own goals.
Eric Blake: One of the first priorities is organization. What simple steps can someone take to get organized?
Tony Steuer: Start with an inventory. Make a list of every account and policy. People are often surprised by what they find.
Think of it like packing for a trip—you need to know what you are bringing. That inventory is the first step.
Eric Blake: Where can listeners connect with you and access your resources?
Tony Steuer: My website is tonysteuer.com. You can join the Get Ready Movement there and access over 150 worksheets. LinkedIn is the best place to find me, and my Get Ready Money Podcast features guests like you to help people learn what questions to ask.
Eric Blake: Tony, thank you so much for joining us. To our listeners, remember—you do not have to know everything. You just need to know the first step and the first question to ask.
If you enjoyed this conversation, please follow and share the show. Until next time, remember: retirement is not the end of the road. It is the start of a new journey.
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